Saturday, April 16, 2016

If you could choose to be a car, what would you be?

I have been working out for what seems like forever.  We had a memebership to the UT Rec center in gradeschool and it was brand-spanking sparkly new then.  It was like a giant playground.

In high school, softball and basketball (CYO, definitely not Varsity) kept me busy and on to college where I returned to my beloved Rec.

After college, Lifestlyes for Ladies Only was my new home.  Filled with ladies only, you could wear cut off sweatpants and a giant Frat T-shirt because you didn't  know no one cared!  My love of spinning started there and my obsession continued.

After Lifestlyes closed (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!), I searched for another place to call home.  I wound up at LA Fitness (formerly Urban Active) and while it was a new sparkly gym, I never really liked it there.  It was like CLUB PICKUP and all the pretty people were there.  The music was so loud (hello, I'm 80) and now my cutoffs and Pi Phi rush tie-dyed T-shirt was antiquated.  Sigh.  How am I supposed to wear tight pants when my thighs touch...down to the knee?  WTF.

I jumped ship and joined a no-frills gym called Fitness 19 - it was $19 dollars a month and I found myself enjoying this simple gym because again, no one cared and you were there to just work it out.  Plus, I saw a LOT of Fratty T-shirts there.  Ahhhh.....these are my people.

After we moved to Sylvania, I needed a closer gym and I really missed the group exercise classes.  I tried the Y and didn't love it but then....I discovered Wildwood Athletic Center.

Angels sang and doves fluttered out the doors as I entered this amazing, open, beautiful place.  It was just so...impressive.  And clean.  And state-of-the-art.  And it smelled really nice.  All the amenities were attractive to me - sauna, steam room, group classes varied in schedule and type, you can even get a massage there!  WHAT?!?!?!  Yes, please.

Needing the extra help as always, I signed up right away to work with a trainer and got some new workout gear, a heart rate monitor and awesome new neon shoes.  My trainer was AMAZING, she was a college athlete and we shared unwieldly curly hair and love of cussing...we were gym besties.  She moved because a great job opportunity and I had to start over.

She recommended a new trainer that she knew personally.  He was totally different.  Military guy and it took a while to get a groove.  Finally we bonded over Deutsches Bier and metal bands.  We laughed and I felt better about our trainer-trainee relationship.  He even was able to crack jokes with me about being short (me, not him) and I've always enjoyed a good laugh at myself for being short...because that's who you are!

One day he notices that I am excessively short in the extremeites area.  "You have the shortest arms I have ever witnessed."  Really?  Even babies?  What about grade school boys?  "And your legs are especially short, which is why you are an excellent squatter."  Ok, that's better..

He thinks...."You are built like a...."  Say athelete...say international business woman superstar...say body builder waiting to emerge.....


Not was I was hoping for.  However, at least American-made Buicks are cooler, reinvented vehicles now.    Right?  Right?

I would have hated if he said  Toyota Tercel.


Michelle Powell said...

Omg I am crying right now I am laughing so hard. Love you buddy ;)

Ky | TwoPretzels said...

Oh my GOSH, Een. I am laughing out loud. While drinking chardonnay with Craig sitting next to me asking me, "What are you laughing at."

A buick?


I wish he would have said, "A Buick Skylark." (My grandparents always drove those.)

I love you.

To me, you're a Lamborghini.

31derful said...

Buick = Strong, reliable, admired, evolving with new trends in a collaborative, not ostentatious way....What a compliment to be compared to one!! Got get 'em, Eener!