Monday, February 10, 2014

Why I need a new masseuse

Really, seriously and truly, I cannot make this up.

Yesterday I was enjoying a massage from my favorite masseuse and as usual, getting the run-down of all the drama in her life.  Highlights included:

  • Texting (yes, not dating) with a new guy, and while she is only attracted to white men, this guy looks Asian.  You know, because of the slanty eyes.  Verbatim.
  •  Saw old boyfriend last week because he came over to pay her some money he owed her.  They fooled around.  It was her idea.  She was working on my pecs (and in my enlarged state, that means basically boobs) - while talking about sex.  That she initiated.  Sigh.
  •  Moving - she is most likely moving soon and wants to hire movers.  Her sister's husband's family could help her and she knows they are available because they don't work...because they are Mexican, but what if they damage her stuff?  Better get a mover.

Finally, when we were about 5 minutes away from the end, she tells me about this eye infection she has.  Ok, I can handle all kinds of drama, racism, self-esteem issues, but if you are sick, please do not work on me.  I am 6 months pregnant and you are touching me....everywhere!!

She said she was not contagious - but how do I know what she has?  Eye infection?  I could be anything!?!?!  Pink eye (gross) or something worse?  I am I being paranoid?  Tell me - I was going to call and just give them a heads up at the salon, but honestly, I am just not going back.  There is a line.  That is just not ok.  I was just so very, very displeased.  OVERSHARE!    I got home and showered again.  I mean, she gives me a face massage!!! 

And now, need massage therapist recommendations.

1 comment:

Ky | TwoPretzels said...

I was just telling Craig the other day that I couldn't not HANDLE anyone who TALKS to me during a massage. That alone is grounds for termination. The pink eye? You're done.