Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Placenta - the New Super {disgusting} Food

Placenta.

Ok- um.......

This has been a frequent topic of discussion lately.  We laugh about it - we ask questions about it, we talk about Tom Cruise eating it and should we eat it?  I just learned that my baby has now grown bigger than his/her placenta.  Woo-hoo!  Go baby, go.

Placenta.

I think about the scene in The Big Lebowski when Maude Lebowski flies across the ceiling while flinging the paint onto her canvas masterpiece.  She dismounts and tells "Jeffry" that her painting is viewed as very vaginal by some and that word itself makes some people uncomfortable.  Vagina.
 Placenta. 

Who eats the Placenta?  People like the aforementioned couch-jumper.  People like Kim Kardashian.  Other weird people.  I bet John Malkovich would eat it.  Angelina Jolie.  Criss Angel. Cee-lo Green.  You know the type.   I mean, are these sane people?  Maybe they are on to something.  Something gross.

My friend told me that a FOAF had the placenta manufactured in pill form so they could swallow it like a pill.  Ok.  Ok.  So, placenta pills.  Is this the hot Christmas gift for 2013?  I have heard that the placenta has tons of nutrients in it, but honestly, I would choke down some chia pudding before I took that plunge.  Have you had chia pudding?  I bet it's worse than placenta.  Merry Christmas!  Here's something that came out of my vagina. 

Then I think about that scene in "Dances with Wolves" where John Dunbar is offered the warm, steaming heart of the freshly killed buffalo (ta-tonka) and must take a bite right out if it, right then, right there.  The Native-Americans cheer him on and welcome him to their circle.  I bet John Dunbar wanted to barf.  Placenta.

Another friend told me that her husband's aunt is a midwife and she also revers the placenta.  She takes other people's placenta (you down with OPP?) and uses it as fertilizer in her garden.  For vegetables.  To feed people.  Placenta.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lol opp and ta-tonka! Makes me think of soylent green! ~merp

Wrestling Kitties said...

No.

Yuck.

GROSS.

NEVER.

But I laughed through this entire post while also making the "ew" face :)