You have noticed the lack of posts, or maybe not, hopefully someone is still reading this blog. Anyone, anyone.....Bueller......
So, we went to ABC Warehouse for a TV, Washer/Dryer and new mattress. I have been wanting to get a Tempur-Pedic style bed because I heard they are better for you, better night sleep, yada yada. I didn't like the idea of laying on all the mattresses that are at ABC Warehouse, and if you have ever been there, you would not either. It's not a bad place per se, it's just that you can sort of haggle there - they give you lower prices but let's just say it's sort of....scuzzy.
So, we are hopping around from bed to bed (not as sexy or glamorous as it sounds), and the salesman enters. He's the classic bad salesman that gives that "salesman" name to salesman. Salesman. He is asking weird questions like, "How do you sleep? On your back, pillow in between your legs?" I'm all like, ICK. Just ICK. He's got on a bad shirt and bad tie and is drinking stale coffee that reeks from a mile away. I want to like him, but I can't Just cannot.
Good thing I had done a TON of reading about which bed I wanted and what got the best ratings because we made a FAST decision about a bed that cost a LOT of money. We check out. He forgets to tell us about the mattress pad and why you need one.
"Ok, so now, let's say you are having a cigarette in bed," like out of Roadhouse, Swayze style?
"Or maybe a glass of wine spills," Dude, what do you think goes on in our house? Right, over the silk sheets and chocolate covered strawberries. Barf.
"Or perhaps some other fluids spill..."
Please stop. We get it. We are adults. We know what you mean. Now stop. Stop it. STOP. For the love of God.
"Blood, urine, puke or well, you know, ANYTHING else......" Seriously. Like uber-vomit, which is what I want to do when I look at you.