Thursday, August 22, 2013

Things You Blurt Out

Sounds like a topic on an old game show.  What was it?  The $10,000 pyramid? Your partner gives you the clues and you blurt out a bunch of meaningless crap whilst the audience can see the obvious word.

Smug host:  "Things.  You find, in.....a grocery store."   Weird smile. 

I love a good game show.  Especially the old ones - Card Sharks, Double Dare, Jeopardy.....

Anyway - I was at a craft beer festival a few weeks ago and having a grand old time I might add.  Why? Well, simply because I love beer.  I think I already told you about it.  Well, I remembered something else about my experience that I wanted to share.

I was minding my own business, chugging drinking my beloved Hefeweisen Dunkle and enjoying the band.  This guy comes over and he's a friend, knows my husband, and is also a raging lunatic.  I should know better, but, alas, I am a classic reactor.  Every time.  He puts his hand on my stomach (yes, touches me) and says, "Hey congrats, but you know you shouldn't be drinking if you are pregnant."

Listen.

I'm not pregnant.  Nor was I at the time.  There is never, ever, ever a circumstance where you should say to a woman anything about her being possibly with child unless right before you say something, she tells you herself that she is, in fact, pregnant.

Iris Took #1 thinks:  Well, he's an idiot.  Whatever.  Iris Took #2, however, was stronger that day and won the battle since she verbally took over.

"WHAT THE HELL MURPHY!?!?!  I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"  Then, and this is the worst part, and I cringe even thinking about saying it, I continued to spaz out and exclaim...

"THAT'S JUST MY BODY SHAPE!!!!" 

"Uh, I just meant because you were drinking, like, uh that you wouldn't be pregnant.  Uh, huh huh,"  a la Beevis and/or Butthead.

Come on.  Get yourself together.  Murph-dog was just hammered and trying to make a joke.  But in my crazy little mind and world, I was compelled to justify my "body type" (ugh) and also proclaim that I was not pregnant.  Guess all those "when are you getting pregnant" questions are getting to me.

Things.  You Blurt out, to Random Drunk People......


3 comments:

Ky | TwoPretzels said...

**Hug**

I'm smiling.

Betcha Murph will keep his comment to himself from here on out.

(I love you.)

(Body shape. Stop it.)

I would have done the EXACT same thing.

Anonymous said...

I'm SO GLAD you got to tell me this story in person...still cracked up when I read this! Body shape....heehee....OMG! Love you!

KZ : )

31derful said...

Ohhh Eener. I love you so much. Thanks for giving me yet another giggle. Hope you and your body type are having a good day! :)