Smug host: "Things. You find, in.....a grocery store." Weird smile.
I love a good game show. Especially the old ones - Card Sharks, Double Dare, Jeopardy.....
Anyway - I was at a craft beer festival a few weeks ago and having a grand old time I might add. Why? Well, simply because I love beer. I think I already told you about it. Well, I remembered something else about my experience that I wanted to share.
I was minding my own business,
I'm not pregnant. Nor was I at the time. There is never, ever, ever a circumstance where you should say to a woman anything about her being possibly with child unless right before you say something, she tells you herself that she is, in fact, pregnant.
Iris Took #1 thinks: Well, he's an idiot. Whatever. Iris Took #2, however, was stronger that day and won the battle since she verbally took over.
"WHAT THE HELL MURPHY!?!?! I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!" Then, and this is the worst part, and I cringe even thinking about saying it, I continued to spaz out and exclaim...
"THAT'S JUST MY BODY SHAPE!!!!"
"Uh, I just meant because you were drinking, like, uh that you wouldn't be pregnant. Uh, huh huh," a la Beevis and/or Butthead.
Come on. Get yourself together. Murph-dog was just hammered and trying to make a joke. But in my crazy little mind and world, I was compelled to justify my "body type" (ugh) and also proclaim that I was not pregnant. Guess all those "when are you getting pregnant" questions are getting to me.
Things. You Blurt out, to Random Drunk People......