Thursday, March 7, 2013

Just make me a sign

I have been doing a good job with the weight loss/maintenance etc. lately.  I have started working out more so of course I enlisted the help of Jillian Michaels by way of her email newsletter.  It's usually informative and helpful...and I really like the recipes.  See, this is why this battle of the bulge will always be a war with me - I am obsessed with food and cooking.  My entire inbox is newsletters and blasts from celebrity chefs, I follow all of them on Twitter and if you looked at my DVR, you would swear I was in culinary school.   I could live on chocolate, cheese, and beer.  For serious.

My food obsession lives on...and on and on and on.

So, I get this last newsletter from Ms. Michaels, and in red are my internal thoughts:

The Regimen
A Closer Look at the Obliques
Spring is just weeks away (shit). Pretty soon you'll see slim-fitting (ugh) and midriff-baring (what?!!?!) fashions everywhere you look — and you'll probably (not) want to show off your great abs (definitely not) or slender torso too (let's get serious). So many people (not this people) believe that they have to aim for chiseled six- (hilarious) or eight-pack (I didn't even know this was possible) abdominals. To achieve this ideal physique (sounds like hell), a lot of people devote a big chunk (reminds me of cookies) of their workout time to crunches and basic abdominal exercises (this is the part of the workout that makes me want to cry). Unfortunately, this type of blanket-approach to abs training isn't very effective (well, what the HELL!?!?!)

So you see, I am just a food loving person trapped in this short body who exercises so I can eat some of the things I want (although I feel like I am sacrificing every day - which I am). 

Just make me a sign - will workout for food.


B. said...

I sat here chuckling quietly to myself while reading this, maybe you should have a mailing list that has this type of commentary for all of Jillian's messages.

I like big chocolate chunk cookies.

kristinzilke said...

I love you. and miss you. You ROCK! This made me LOL....for reals : )

kristinzilke said...

And another thought....Seriously....WHAT audience is she speaking to??? WHO sits around thinking "I sure can't wait to show off my slender torso and abdominals" haha....and midriff bearing tops?!?! I wish! At the current moment I'm willing to bear my wrists and ankles....which are pasty : )