Well, as I heaved the hefty-sinch sack into the bin, it somehow grew tentacles and grabbed my hand and took down my keys with it to the depths of the smelly trash bin toter pit. Now...the trash can was empty before this bag, so if you only have one bag and one set of keys in this enormous receptacle with tentacles, that's a long way down for a 5' tall person who has been freshly showered. Damn it.
Here is the kind we have:
So I reached in hoping I could grab my keys. Obviously no. I tipped the bin over hoping they would slide out, but who am I kidding? I am no physics whiz, but I understand the basic concepts - keys cannot just levitate to me (although now would be an awesome time for them to start). Now, they are just lying at the bottom, the nasty, retched bottom. I had to then practically get IN the trash bin like Princess Leia in the trash compactor of Episode IV, but there was no Wookie and no handsome junk dealer to make quips and save me with the Millennium Falcon.
Just my elderly neighbor watching from her porch, with her perfect lawn, cracking up at me.