Thursday, August 9, 2012

Dumpster Diving

Ever a multi-tasker, this morning I grabbed my usual crap junk stuff necessary daily items before I headed to my car.   Lunch bag, purse, gym bag, briefcase.  I also had to take out the trash too so instead of taking that out first, I had it with me because I had hand sanitizer in the car (that's ok, right?).

Well, as I heaved the hefty-sinch sack into the bin, it somehow grew tentacles and grabbed my hand and took down my keys with it to the depths of the smelly trash bin toter pit.  Now...the trash can was empty before this bag, so if you only have one bag and one set of keys in this enormous receptacle with tentacles, that's a long way down for a 5' tall person who has been freshly showered.  Damn it.

Here is the kind we have:

So I reached in hoping I could grab my keys.  Obviously no.  I tipped the bin over hoping they would slide out, but who am I kidding?  I am no physics whiz, but I understand the basic concepts - keys cannot just levitate to me (although now would be an awesome time for them to start).  Now, they are just lying at the bottom, the nasty, retched bottom.  I had to then practically get IN the trash bin like Princess Leia in the trash compactor of Episode IV, but there was no Wookie and no handsome junk dealer to make quips and save me with the Millennium Falcon.

Just my elderly neighbor watching from her porch, with her perfect lawn, cracking up at me.


Ky • said...

I love you.

Schaaf said...

Sounds like you needed Bongzilla after that morning.

Iris Took said...

@ Two Pretzels - I love YOU!

@ Schaaf - I only WISH I had the Bongzilla today! HAHAH! LOVE that you commented! :)

Wrestling Kitties said...


I don't even know where to begin to say what part of this post was my favorite....but the wookie and junk dealer reference had to be what actually made me laugh out loud!!

AWESOME. Seriously awesome.

(I take it you got your keys?!)

kate • one more thing said...

This happened to me this week at Mr. Freeze. Went to throw away my straw wrapper for my milkshake and also dropped my key. In the ice cream place garbage. It was horrible. I feel for you.

And I miss you.