Still no good name for this section of the blog, so People Are Crazy gets another week. Here goes: The Gym, last Thursday night.
The father of a grade-school male friend of mine comes over and says hi to me. I was stretching, so it was already awkward.
Me: "How are the boys? And your grandkids?"
Mr.: "Oh good! I can't believe how fast the little ones are growing up."
Me: "...and how is Mrs. your Wife?"
Mr.: "She's good - she's lost 30 lbs!"
Me: "WOW! How did she do it?"
Mr: "Well, Colleen," he leans down as I'm stretching and uses my full name -ick!, "she's been having a lot of sex," and winks. Winks. Pervy, winking, perv.
COME ON! I realize this is locker room talk, but we are not in the locker room, and we are not peers, and I am not a man. and ugh! Gross. Nightmare time.
Work, sitting at my desk. Male co-worker walks by and chats with my female co-worker in front of my desk. Female co-worker starts banter -
Female: "You are always eating," directed to me.
Me (pissed): "Yes, I do tend to eat often, but if you notice, it is almost always fruit for a morning and afternoon snack or a salad for lunch." Annoyed that I feel like I need to explain myself in my own space.
Female: "I only eat once a day."
Male: "Well, that is why you are so skinny!" Directed to her.
Sigh. Eat zero point orange.
3 p.m. - Eating my zero point apple. Minding my own GD business.
Same Male Coworker: "Hey, you're eating again, heh, heh!" Trying to be funny.
Me: Outwardly, a smile. Inwardly, "Hey, you're an asshole, again!"
Note - never comment on somene's lunch unless you say you'd like to pay for it.
I am now at 5 lbs total lost since January 18th which may seem agonizing, but for me, IT IS this is a decent pace - see why I freak out about losing weight?? It takes me for-ev-er to lose or rather I lose very small amounts, but I'm a shorty so I have heard that is normal. I just wish I could lose 5lbs a week like some people and I would only have to diet for a month. Good one.
This week's meeting topic was weighing and measuring your food - which I really enjoyed. I am in the habit of doing this right now - cups, spoons, 1/2 cup, 1/4 cup (ugh), teaspoon, etc... The food scale is a lifesaver! You really cannot eyeball a piece of grilled chicken or deli meat all the time - measuring is a wonderful tool because then you know FOR SURE. It helps you not over portion, but also helps you not UNDER portion. I want my Points-worth dammit!
If you portion at home, you can know better when you are at a restaurant or party what is a 3oz potato, steak, etc...or at least have an educated guess.
Good meeting, good topic. This is an important habit and one that really helps me stay on track.
Self magazine sends out fun, flashy emails, with trendy information all about keeping you fit and current. Today's email featured an article about the best jeans for your butt so, naturally, I was dying to know what secretive jeans this email was about to reveal. The email featured some blonde bombshell, with no cares in the world sporting some really adorable outfit. They broke it down:
Well, thank GOD for the flipping belt (that is invisible). Everything else is an abominable price and you KNOW that Target's verision of it just AIN'T the same. Stop sending crap like this. Stop acting like it is okay for the majority of us to want to spend $250 ON A BAUBLE BRACELET! That is a car payment. Sigh.
Point me to the gas station that is selling the next winning lottery ticket.
This could possibly qualify for my new People are Crazy segment, but it was too good not to share and, technically, I did not have a conversation with this, uh, individual.
Salsarita's - Dussel Drive (which is excellent, by the way. Well, again, technically I didn't eat there, but the menu and food looked delicious and the Corona was to die for.)
I was having a meeting with my professionals group and I see a man, woman and their baby at the table across from me. The man puts the baby on the table and starts changing it's poopy diaper - ON THE TABLE. No mat, no napkins, no poop barrier against which we eat our tacos. I could actually see the poop in the diaper.
I couldn't carry my meeting on. I just looked at my committee member next to me and he was looking at the poop-bandits too. "Are you seeing this?" "Uh, yeah," he was more grossed out than I was. I was more shocked and enraged.
My question was - WHO DOES THAT?
Next question - where was the manager with the BLEACH?
Never have I ever seen anyone change a poopy diaper on a table in a restaurant. Moms - give me your thoughts. Jeff - I know you want to weigh in on this one as you were an eye-witness.
Maybe it is because I am overly friendly, or maybe it is because I am overly weird, or perhaps it is because I like to blog and therefore perpetuate odd conversation, but I will tell you, people just say weird things to me. Certainly at the grocery store, the gas station, the mall, you name it. And I love it. Unless it's mean. And then I say, "It's ok...I'll just blog about this bastard," and that usually helps me.
I want to start a new segment on the blog about this dialogue phenom but I need a snazzy name so bear with me while I come up with one. "People are Crazy" is accurate but it lacks pizazz.
Here's are week's gems:
Old Navy, Airport Highway:
I am entering, woman is exiting. Don Pablo's is across the street - taunting me.
"It smells like Mexican out here..." says svelte woman with tons of bags.
"Why yes, it does..." I reply with a smile.
HER: "It stinks!"
ME: "It smells delicious!"
Same old Navy, checkout counter:
I am purchasing two scarves because I love them. They just add a nice pop of color and you don't have to commit to a crazy patterned shirt or sweater.
Checkout girl: "I hate scarves."
Me: "I love them! Especially yours at Old Navy!"
CO girl: "I think people that wear scarves look like idiots."
Me: wearing a scarf and buying two. Obviously an idiot.
Costco, last night:
Trying to wield that ginormous cart at checkout, feeling like Mario in big world....
Old Man Greeter: "Enjoy your rotisserie chicken!"
Me: "Yes, I sure will!"
OMG: "My friend keeps moist towelettes in his car so he can rip the legs off those suckers and eat them in the car on the way home."
Me: (internal) 1 - Moist towelettes? Can you just say handy wipes? 2- By "your friend" do you mean yourself? 3 - That is a damn good idea.
Me: (for real) "Ok - thank you!"
OMG: "Get the moist towelettes next time!!!"
Since I always feel the need to spill my guts to my faithful readers and this weight loss obsession effort is consuming my life, I thought it may help to blog more frequently about it. Therefore, dear friends, I am going to tell you exactly how much I weigh. HAHA! OMG! I bet you thought I had lost my shit.
What I am going to do is journal my weigh in with you every week as I get in shape for my October wedding. I have struggled with my weight and body issues most of my life (at least for as long as I can remember) and it is so important to me that I do everything possible (that is legal and affordable) to be the best Iris Took I can be for my wedding day.
SO! 2/16/11 - DOWN 1.6
I am attending Weight Watchers meetings again now that the program has changed and is based more on the science of food and the points are calculated differently. They take carbs, protein, and sugars, in addition to fat and fiber into consideration now. All fruits and vegetables have ZERO points plus values. Jennifer Hudson - you inspired me.
Tune in next week! I am going to warn you...this might be a roller coaster series of posts. When I lose, it will be happy....and when I gain/don't lose.... you've got your hands full guys. Thank you in advance.
My good friend sent me this blog in an email with a simple message: "You will love this."
Ah, yeah. I do. Simply - it's amazing.
What I said in my mind (actually, I am most certain it was out loud) was GOOD GOD! LOOK AT THIS STUFF. Food porn. Seriously. I love the title - Food Gawker - it is so appropriate for anything this indulgent. You will get lost in the web of blogs and you will be happy about it. I have already started reading Bake at 350 almost every day (although I think it is making me gain weight).
If you need to bake something incredible or if you are dangerously underweight, please help yourself to an hour of this gorgeous website.
Last night my iPod needed a little juice before my workout, so I plugged it in, like normal, and let it charge for about 10 minutes. I hit the eject and left for the gym. After I got to the gym, selected the cleanest elliptical, get it sprayed down, filled up my water canteen, etc...I noticed my iPod was not playing. I looked down and it screamed at me in all caps....
Everything is gone?!?! WTF just happened? My first thought was that there was NO WAY IN HELL ON A SUNDAY NIGHT I could workout without music, but I pulled myself together and focused on how angry I was and made it through somehow. It's not like you can call Apple support and some nice person will gladly help you through your woes. Although part of my making it thorough was mentally yelling at someone. Is that healthy? Let's pretend it is.
I would guess that Apple is now cracking down on any and all music not actually purchased via iTunes and I most certainly had some of said tunes from for-ev-er ago, and raise your hand if you don't, but I still don't know how it erased EVERYTHING on my iPod.
My library has everything I paid for on iTunes, but still I have to star over with playlists and music from CDs. That is hours of work and years of what I would consider progress.
Sigh. Let's look at this as a new beginning....yeah, a new beginning. An annoying, maddening, new beginning....
We are postponing our plans until we both have same night off and then will go to a restaurant that we have on our "list." This is a running list of fun or cool places that we want to try. I keep this list in my phone so when we randomly drive by or it pops into our head I can "write it down."
Whatever you do, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and feel loved and appreciated. I know I do.
ABC's new show Mr. Sunshine featuring Matthew Perry (who can only be known to be as Chandler) premiered last night. I wanted to watch it since I am in the event industry and knew it would be amusing/interesting/I could relate.
It was ok. Eh. Just ok. I think this show follows the same kind of self-absorbed, "it's all about me" story line and characters that I don't find amusing. We have the Jersey Shore for that.
I really wanted someone to freak out. There was an ELEPHANT loose in the building and people were just shrugging it off or quipping about it. I was yelling - OH COME ON! In the real world...the shit would hit the fan. I understand this is a SHOW, but this is my blog and these are my feelings.
The character of the arena owner was pretty good though. I like a crazy lady in charge - that makes me laugh. More of her please.
Moving on (or jumping backwards if we are speaking chronologically), did you watch Modern Family? This show continues to deliver phenomenal episodes that entertain! I have been hearing the overuse of this word - phenomenal - and it is rather irritating because most Subway subs are not phenomenal, most dance moves are not phenomenal, that girl's hair is definitely not phenomenal, but this show I do happen to find, yes, phenomenal. Phil and Claire, Mitchell and Cam! I love it. Keep bringing it Mod Family but cut out that crap where Manny likes Hayley. Ew.
Look at the gas buttons - notice anything? The 87 used to be on the far left and now its on the far right. If you weren't really paying attention and pressing the button out of habit you would have selected the higher grade.
I really enjoyed the Superbowl this year - maybe because I was in the comfort of my own home and we had amazing food (that never hurts), we played the squares board, drank some beers...it was just FUN. I didn't care AT ALL which team won so it was more of a social event.
Christina Aguerlia can sing. I know she messed up one WORD of the National Anthem, but at least she didn't have a nipple slip.
The halftime show was entertaining. Come on, admit it....it was. Even if you don't like Fergie, or the Black-Eyed Peas, you know it was better than watching very old people that look really old now, just stand there and not sound like themselves. Sorry, but it's true. Entertainment is meant to entertain. Plus they had SLASH. (please sing with me).....AAAAMAZINGGGGG........
What was your favorite commercial? A few stood out in my mind, for instance the Doritos one where the roommate sprinkled the Grandpa back to life. Here was my favorite though:
Oh, and the actual game was good too. It was a decent match and not a blow out. I almost forgot that there was an actual GAME happening since there was so much stimulus.
Have you noticed that most commercials and advertisements will not come out and say "Superbowl" party or snacks, drinks, etc...
They all say, "Game Day" or "Big Game" and not the actual Superbowl. I bet it is copyrighted therefore no one on the planet can use it except for the NFL. Let's hope I am not getting fined.
On a separate note, we have been watching all the food network shows about "GAME DAY" foods to prepare and they have some amazing creations. I have also come to the realization that watching foods is not helping me lose weight. I get so excited about recreating the food myself that it is causing me to continue to obsess over food. I basically have food on the brain...constantly. But cooking is SO DANG FUN. It is like art and creating amazing tasting art is a fantastic hobby. The cleaning part is the bummer.
I need to take a break from Man vs. Food (oh, how I love Adam Richman), Grill it with Bobby Flay, The Iron Chef, No Reservations, The Barefoot Contessa, Good Eats, Cupcake Wars.....see? I secretly hate Giada now since she sashays around her kitchen and makes all her food so damn sexy! Stop opening your mouth so big and rolling your eyes into the back of your head...it's not THAT good. It's not.
Are you into cooking shows? Do you actually attempt what they showcase? I love it - it's a fun challenge that has a tasty reward. Stupid cleanup....Maid please!
With all this press on Snowmegeddon and what not, have we all forgotten what today actually is??
That's right...it's Groundhog Day! It's pretty apparent we are having 6 more weeks of winter (don't we always?) but I want to show a clip of a great movie for you. Bill Murray - I love you! Sweet vermouth...on the rocks....with a twist. AH, classic Murray!