Monday, July 18, 2011

Mallrats / I am really getting old

If you ever need entertainment or if you are yearning for a sense of disconnection, please go shopping at the mall on a Friday night.  There you will find a slew of deviants slinking around Forever 21 and the Food Court, swearing, making out, staring, being loud and general rowdiness....

GASP...I'm so old!  That was totally me in 7th grade, not wait, I was just interested in the food court, definitely not the making out part.  Good lord.

Anyway, I was returning an outfit from Express since it didn't fit right (old!) and the music in there was SO LOUD that I could hardly hear myself think (and there we go again....).  But seriously, it was.  Holy hell, get me out of here.

Next stop, H&M....on the way I hear a gaggle of college girls talking about these guys they were hooking up with later.  The one says to the other, "Shut the f@*$ up Brittany, you bitch..." and they all laugh.  I turn around and they were barely in high school.  Wearing cootchie cutter shorts and tank tops, these little skanks were all texting and calling each other whores and wearing more makeup than I did at the last wedding I went to.  The horror!

Finally, as I was leaving, I see two people holding hands.  They stop and just start MAKING OUT.  These two teeny boppers could not have been older than 7th grade.  He was grabbing her butt like it was a bag of buttered popcorn at a main feature.  I was flabbergasted.  Get out the rocking chair.

But really!  Were you doing this crap in 7th and 8th grade?  I may have took a sip of a beer or snuck a cigarette but not in public!  Not making out.  Certainly not wearing an outfit that rivaled a bathing suit and calling my friends sluts and whores.

When did I become a "Ma'am" and start shaking my head at these youngster?


Sassytimes said...

Ha! I think these things every single time I go to the mall. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Last time I was in Express, it gave me a headache. The girl working was trying to ask me something and I could NOT hear her over the music. I felt like an old lady. ...and the smell that seeps out of Hollister/Abercrombie kills me. That can't be healthy to breathe all day long if you work there.

It's official...I'm old. ;)

Ky • said...

Dear Lord no. In 7th grade I looked like a boy and hardly required a bra.

And, I refuse to go into Abercrombie. It's been too loud for years. :)

Written Permission said...

I am with you, sister. Judging by today's youth, I had the most boring adolescence EVER. One that included 10,000 viewings of Dirty Dancing, but zero instances of doing it in public.