Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Like a fat kid in a candy store....

Sitting next to me at work today, were two concessions managers discussing the menu for summer.  This is an important discussion as it went on for an hour or two.  As a perpetually hungry person, and someone that is massively dieting (sorry - ON A PROGRAM) for my wedding, this.was.torture.  Not only did they list the items being sold, but rather broke it down by ingredient just so I would salivate.  Sigh.  Think wedding dress, think thin.....damnit!

Here was what I listened to from approximately 3:30-4:30pm:
"Philly Cheese....hard roll, grilled roast beef, onions/peppers, provolone cheese," (then the price - like I was listening to the flippin' price).  It took me back to when I ate an actual Philly Cheese IN Philly - mmmmm, guuuuuudddddd.....
"Deli Sandwich Combo - croissant, ham, turkey, salami, cheese, with chips, pickle, pasta salad, and soda," SODA!  I love pop - Dt. Mountain Dew......
"Kids Combo - Hot Dog combo, PB&J," uh, you me at hot dog.  Geez.....

This dirty talk droned on and on, describing all sorts of delightful and belly-busting, fattening foods from your past and some with a modern twist.  It was like Cedar Point, a church festival, a carnival, the food court at the Mall, and street food all rolled into one.  Adam Richman would surely accept this kind of a challenge.

Then the grand finale...it was like a giant angry parade of food just taunting me.  In my head, all this food was alive but had nasty faces and was jeering at me.  "HAHAHA!  You can't eat ussss, but we are evasive and deeeelicioussssss!"
"Double Cheeseburger, Bacon Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, hamburger, BBQ Chicken Sandwich, french fries, ice cream sandwiches, caramel corn...."

Stupid bastard food.  Just kidding.....I love you.

2 comments:

Sassytimes said...

Good thing they didn't bring in samples, right?

That would kill me!

wrestling kitties said...

HAHAHA!

That is dirty talk to me right now!! I could not have taken it and barely got through this post....and now I want a Philly cheesesteak :)