Thursday, February 24, 2011

People Are Crazy

Still no good name for this section of the blog, so People Are Crazy gets another week.  Here goes:
The Gym, last Thursday night.
The father of a grade-school male friend of mine comes over and says hi to me.  I was stretching, so it was already awkward. 
Me:  "How are the boys?  And your grandkids?"
Mr.:  "Oh good!  I can't believe how fast the little ones are growing up."
Me: "...and how is Mrs. your Wife?"
Mr.:  "She's good - she's lost 30 lbs!"
Me:  "WOW!  How did she do it?"
Mr:  "Well, Colleen,"  he leans down as I'm stretching and uses my full name -ick!, "she's been having a lot of sex," and winks.  Winks.  Pervy, winking, perv.

OH BARF.

COME ON!  I realize this is locker room talk, but we are not in the locker room, and we are not peers, and I am not a man. and ugh!  Gross.   Nightmare time.

Work, sitting at my desk.  Male co-worker walks by and chats with my female co-worker in front of my desk.  Female co-worker starts banter -
Female:  "You are always eating," directed to me. 
Me (pissed):  "Yes, I do tend to eat often, but if you notice, it is almost always fruit for a morning and afternoon snack or a salad for lunch."  Annoyed that I feel like I need to explain myself in my own space.
Female:  "I only eat once a day." 
Male:  "Well, that is why you are so skinny!"  Directed to her.
Sigh.  Eat zero point orange.
3 p.m. - Eating my zero point apple.  Minding my own GD business.
Same Male Coworker:  "Hey, you're eating again, heh, heh!"  Trying to be funny.
Me:  Outwardly, a smile.  Inwardly, "Hey, you're an asshole, again!" 
Note - never comment on somene's lunch unless you say you'd like to pay for it.

6 comments:

Christina said...

CREEPER!!! To. Much. Information. What the heck did you say next?! Bahahaha.

Written Permission said...

What the hell is wrong with people? This particular column should be called People are Creepy Assholes.

1. I don't want any man other than my husband or my gyno ever EVER EVER talking about sex with me. Especially if I only kind of know him. Just...GIANT EW.

2. I want to shove your co-workers off a cliff. Seriously. What ridiculous jackasses.

wrestling kitties said...

People Are Assholes!

#1 - Really? You are going to be THAT guy. Nice, really nice. Hope you know you just sounded like a giant douche bag and I am now going to talk about you on my blog where people will think the same thing!

#2 - Go F*#k yourselves and leave me alone. Thanks.

That is what I would want to say!

All Things Red said...

I don't know which conversation is worse! Both of them are annoying!!

Sassytimes said...

Wow. I'm kinda speechless. People ARE crazy!

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