Still no good name for this section of the blog, so People Are Crazy gets another week. Here goes:
The Gym, last Thursday night.
The father of a grade-school male friend of mine comes over and says hi to me. I was stretching, so it was already awkward.
Me: "How are the boys? And your grandkids?"
Mr.: "Oh good! I can't believe how fast the little ones are growing up."
Me: "...and how is Mrs. your Wife?"
Mr.: "She's good - she's lost 30 lbs!"
Me: "WOW! How did she do it?"
Mr: "Well, Colleen," he leans down as I'm stretching and uses my full name -ick!, "she's been having a lot of sex," and winks. Winks. Pervy, winking, perv.
COME ON! I realize this is locker room talk, but we are not in the locker room, and we are not peers, and I am not a man. and ugh! Gross. Nightmare time.
Work, sitting at my desk. Male co-worker walks by and chats with my female co-worker in front of my desk. Female co-worker starts banter -
Female: "You are always eating," directed to me.
Me (pissed): "Yes, I do tend to eat often, but if you notice, it is almost always fruit for a morning and afternoon snack or a salad for lunch." Annoyed that I feel like I need to explain myself in my own space.
Female: "I only eat once a day."
Male: "Well, that is why you are so skinny!" Directed to her.
Sigh. Eat zero point orange.
3 p.m. - Eating my zero point apple. Minding my own GD business.
Same Male Coworker: "Hey, you're eating again, heh, heh!" Trying to be funny.
Me: Outwardly, a smile. Inwardly, "Hey, you're an asshole, again!"
Note - never comment on somene's lunch unless you say you'd like to pay for it.