Thursday, February 17, 2011

People are Crazy

Maybe it is because I am overly friendly, or maybe it is because I am overly weird, or perhaps it is because I like to blog and therefore perpetuate odd conversation, but I will tell you, people just say weird things to me.  Certainly at the grocery store, the gas station, the mall, you name it.  And I love it.  Unless it's mean.  And then I say, "It's ok...I'll just blog about this bastard," and that usually helps me.

I want to start a new segment on the blog about this dialogue phenom but I need a snazzy name so bear with me while I come up with one.  "People are Crazy" is accurate but it lacks pizazz. 

Here's are week's gems:

Old Navy, Airport Highway:
I am entering, woman is exiting.  Don Pablo's is across the street - taunting me.
"It smells like Mexican out here..." says svelte woman with tons of bags.
"Why yes, it does..." I reply with a smile.
HER:  "It stinks!"
ME:  "It smells delicious!"

Same old Navy, checkout counter:
I am purchasing two scarves because I love them.  They just add a nice pop of color and you don't have to commit to a crazy patterned shirt or sweater.
Checkout girl:  "I hate scarves."
Me:  "I love them!  Especially yours at Old Navy!"
CO girl:  "I think people that wear scarves look like idiots."
Me:  wearing a scarf and buying two.  Obviously an idiot.

Costco, last night:
Trying to wield that ginormous cart at checkout, feeling like Mario in big world....
Old Man Greeter:  "Enjoy your rotisserie chicken!"
Me:  "Yes, I sure will!"
OMG:  "My friend keeps moist towelettes in his car so he can rip the legs off those suckers and eat them in the car on the way home."
Me:  (internal) 1 - Moist towelettes?  Can you just say handy wipes?  2- By "your friend" do you mean yourself?  3 - That is a damn good idea.
Me:  (for real) "Ok - thank you!"
OMG:  "Get the moist towelettes next time!!!"


Anonymous said...

This post literally made me laugh out loud several times!!!! I love that!!!! Especially because I totally believe what you say!

Sassytimes said...

This is hysterical! I think that scarf woman at Old Navy needs a new job. ;)

Sassytimes said...

Okay, I HAD to come back here and comment again on this...

I went to Old Navy on Airport tonight. It was minutes before 9pm (closing time) when I was checking out. Just then, a girl walks in the door to shop. The cashier goes, "BITCH, God, I hate when people do that." I almost laughed because I remembered this post from this morning. I couldn't think of anything to say except "Sorry?". She went on and on about how she didn't care if people shop right until closing, but when they walk in starting to shop til closing they are just bitches. LMAO! Who uses profanity at work to a customer! ...and I was all dressed up because I had just left work.

Ky • said...

LOVED this post.


(Confession: I think I say moist towelettes.)


So funny.

All Things Red said...

The moist towelette one made me LAUGH REALLY HARD! It reminded me of when you went through the Wendy's drive-thru and they thought you ordered a whole bunch of chilis. Weird stuff ONLY happens to YOU!!!

Kate said...

I really shouldn't read your blog while running a workshop. The participants are probably wondering why I look like I'm sitting back here snickering to myself! Hilarious!

Christina said...

Hahahaha!! That last one had me crackin' up!!

AND people are just rude!