Thursday, January 28, 2010

Weekend update

Off to Toronto this morning on the train! Gn'R concert tonight (geeked!) and a fun weekend in Canada! See you Sunday...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Pen Pals

Having a good pen is instrumental to having a good day at the office. I find that if I don't have a utensil that writes smoothly, consistently, and clearly, I get irritated. My bin is full of pens that I have carefully selected, and I revise it often. I am conscious not to take others' pens, and DO ask for mine back after letting others borrow them. There. I said it. While my handwriting is not exactly the best, it is unique and I embrace it.

On to the pens!

Here is my favorite kind: The Papermate Flexgrip med. in blue. Ahh. It writes so beautifully and never smudges. You see, I'm a lefty and if there is any sort of ink or residue of the pen, it will smudge and remain all over my hand. This is why pencil is an issue and markers can be tricky.
Second in command is the Papermate Fine pt. in blue. This will do, but the actual ink comes out finer and I like a thicker script.
The Bic Round Stic is a classic pen and also works nice. I like the looks of the Papermate better and find that it writes smoother, more evenly on the paper. Don't even think about handing me a black ink pen though.

The Sharpie is loads of fun and great for writing on file folders (and drawing on finger mustaches for all you Clark Lakers). Lefties beware - you need to use caution when using the Sharpie. The advent of the retractability was quite amazing in that if you lose the cap, the Sharpie is no longer rendered useless. Remember dipping them into hot water as some kind of Felt-Tip pen CPR? CMON! YOU CAN MAKE IT!

Don't even give me this garbage. It may be camouflaged as a "comfort pen" but it is pure madness - this pen is a lefty nightmare! Your page will be smudged and your hand will look like it lost the Ink Battle of 1817 (which as we all know was fought in the Cubicle of the Northwest Office).

Same with these - they may be a Papermate and colorful but they are still dangerous. Don't let the colors fool you. It's like Britney Spears claiming she's a say it, but you are parading around the stage in underwear with a snake around your neck while dating Justin Timberlake. The jig's up.
In some countries, this is used as a torture device. Named the Bic Crystal, this scary scrawler will cut into your middle finger causing a permanent dent. I hate it. It hates me. We are Penemies.

What's your favorite pen?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


1) Renee's scene at gun point was so intense! She's definitely got a death wish - good thing Jack's looking out for her. How about when he yelled DAMMIT, freaked out, and did a 180 with his car in the middle of the highway. Jack ATTACK!

2) Was anyone else sweating bullets when Vlad was grilling her for information? R.a.o.u.l....C.a.s.t.i.l.l.o...she is an ice queen. Rock solid.

3) Vlad is a psycho - broken ribs, broken cheekbone? Renee?!?!? What are you doing! I am nervous for next week. Going DARK!

4) Is is bad that I wouldn't be sad if that dude from "Jenny's" past just shot her and got it over with? This is going to mess up the entire operation. It's not making me feel bad for her - it's making me hate her.

5) This Arlo guy is in love with Dana/Jenny and that's going to be a mess too. Annoying. Office non-romance - barf.

6) Ok - weapons-grade uranium? That's some serious business. I am not sure how that could be cured in less than 24 hours. Let's see...

7) Jack Bauer as a German based rich guy? YES!

8) Just when President Taylor thinks she's made some progress, Hassan has to go invoke Martial Law. It's all going crazy now.

Tune in next week for more action and yelling!

Monday, January 25, 2010


On my drive home tonight, the snow and hail starting coming down so fast it looked like a giant white koosh ball. Remember koosh balls? I had three of them:
1) Yellow with a blue stripe through the middle of it
2) Purple, magenta, and green
3) Multi-colored

I loved holding the ball by that one strand and then finding the loop, putting it around your finger and trying not to break it. I also thought it was fun to trim the koosh with scissors. I gave my koosh a flat-top.

Kooshes were fun! Ah, the simple entertainment of childhood.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Who doesn't trust Carmindy?

You probably know Carmindy as the fantastic make-up artist who changes people's lives...people! You've seen her on the fabulous show What Not To Wear with Stacey and Clinton on TLC. Well, she has her own line of products and tips - click here. Watched this how-to today and HAD to share...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Turns out, I didn't morph into a superhero

Update: I'm still sick and today I had an allergic reaction to my antibiotic (mark amoxicillin AND erythromycin off my list now). From the time I left my house at 7:45am to the time I arrived at work (7:59am) I broke out in an itchy rash with some hives. Nice right? They were everywhere. Barf. I watch a lot of science fiction and it really freaked me out so naturally I ran straight into my boss's office and yelled, "I GOTTA GO! I'M FREAKIN OUT!" Being a smart woman, she could see my distress and wished me luck.

I called the doctor and she told me 1)to stop taking the amoxicillin (good starting point), and 2) that I was not morphing into a superhero (which is really too bad), 3) that I would be getting a new antibiotic 4) to take some clairitn for the non-superhero hives/itching and 5) that she is also prescribing some codeine cough syrup. Par-tay!

So, I hit Walgreen's to get my stuff. Here is what I observed while I was there today:
1) Whistling is creepy. Unless you are Axl Rose and it's for song purposes, don't do it. The pharmacist was whistling that weird swingy type of whistle the entire time only pausing to ask me if I was pregnant. Ick. The song he was whistling? Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody. He kept on after the song was over.
2) Kim and Chloe Kardashian sponsor some diet pill called Quick Trim or QT. Their tagline is "How hot can you be?" As long as you're hot, don't worry about your health or the heart attack you are going to have after taking these.
3) Vitamin Water makes a lip balm and a candy now. Huh. Vitamin lip balm? Really people....
4) People do NOT respect personal space. I have blogged about this many a time, but I just cannot stand it when someone stands right on top of you when you are checking out. God help us if you bump into me. Back it up sister!!
5) There's a good chance I might be the topic of someone else's post today because of my parking lot behavior and attire. Donning my softest green sweatpants tucked into boots, light blue ski coat and a hair-do that screamed maniac, I cracked open the pills, the clairitn, and took a big swig of the cough medicine just to wash it down. I never could master swallowing pills without some kind of liquid.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Today in our weekly staff meeting, I meant to say "Donor" and then "Board" followed by "Meeting."

Guess what came out?



I said that in a meeting today.

Try regaining composure after that.

24 - Season Premier part 2

The first 4 hours of this season are pretty intense - and awesome! Here's the rundown from where I sit:

1) Renee Walker has come back to CTU a la Jean Grey as the Phoenix. She's obviously been through hell and you can tell because she's acting the the devil's spawn. The saw!

2) I really don't hate FPJ as Ortiz - it's his namby pamby fiancee and her dumb stalker that are making me mad. You're stalking me - oh ok, relinquish my apartment key to you. DUMB! That lip pucker and blank stare on her face makes me want to smack it off her. This isn't a runway, stop fixing your hair! Snap out if it sister!

3) Chloe redeems herself to Hastings - about time!

4) We saw that dirty rat of a brother's plot a mile away, let's hope he gets offed pretty soon along with Mike Farmington (the shady prison guard from the Green Mile).

5) Allison Taylor is handling this crisis pretty well and I am liking President Hassan because he is being so cooperative and seems to be super intelligent. Which makes me nervous.

6) I like how the CTU agents just talked about millions like it was baseball cards. No biggie! It's just a few billion. Whatevs.

7) We're in trouble now. THE RUSSIAN MOB!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Kate!

Happy Birthday to Kate!!! I hope you have an awesome day filled with rummy nog with Captain Morgan, and bread with no consequence at Real Seafood! You are a fabulous friend - enjoy the day of your birth!!

24 - Season Premier


My thoughts on the first half of the premier:
1) I hate the new CTU. The girl is annoying, the guy is dumb (WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHO JACK BAUER IS?!?!), and the director seems arrogant.
2) Freddie Prinze Jr. is not a cheesy as I thought. I might not hate him.
3) We knew the President's brother would be bad. Not sure about the President yet.
4) President Taylor always has her hands full. Olivia better not come back this season.
5) Jack as a Grandpa! Crazy!
6) Only one man can go from being a softie Grandpa at the Zoo to SCREAMING at an informant...and that man is Jack Bauer.
8) Poor Chole - she is struggling in the new world of CTU, she better get up to speed or the AX is coming her way.

Can't wait for tonight!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Swimsuits make me think of Pizza

Every year around this time, I get the Victoria's Secret Swimsuit catalog. How's that for motivation? Extremely hot, thin chicks in really cute suits placed in exotic vacation dream lands. Sigh. I wonder why my immediate reaction is to call the pizza man? Funny how that works.

Maybe I should paste these images around the house for extra incentive? Or is that warped and a mental hindrance to my progress so far? Here's what I would be thinking...

On the fridge:
I'll have a salad (with cheese!! This is obviously airbrushed)

In my workout area:
One more set of push ups! (Yeah right, this girl hasn't lifted a heavy object in her life)

Near the cookie jar:
What cookie jar? I replaced it with a chocolate fountain

Who am I kidding? I can't have these sluts pasted all over my house! It's going to drive me nuts! I need a beer.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Mid-January sucks. I hate to say it and I hate to be a downer, but that's how I feel today. Maybe it's because I'm sick and it's cold and the Holidays are over -but the whole thing is depressing.

I stayed home from work yesterday and did nothing. It was kinda nice but I was miserable - you know, that feeling of you know you should be doing stuff but you're sick so you can't. Hot, cold, hot, cold, cough, sneeze, headache. I did catch up on some Harry Potter so that kept me entertained. But even that was depressing (I'm in the middle of the Deathly Hallows). Reading. The highlight of my day. Sigh.

I didn't even have an appetite yesterday. That's how blah I am. Blah.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Brown Belt Bandit

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of being a vendor at a two day bridal fair at the Stranahan Theater. Our neighbors at the show were friendly enough, perhaps too friendly....

My friend K. was also the show with me and before the show started yesterday we were just chatting about the ushuz: working out, eating, people's outfits, you know. In no way were we including the older gentleman in the booth to the right of us, but be waited for his opportunity and pounced.

K: "I have really been enjoying Turbo Kick lately."
Me: "Such a good workout! P90x has a similar DVD workout. It's really intense."
Blah blah blah, us talking, not including him, just us, etc...
Guy: "Kickboxing. Hah."
Me: "Yeah, don't make us mad! Hah!" Clearly joking. Even adding a faux karate-chop.
Creeper Guy: "I like fighting Kick boxers. Their kicks are so easy to block."

K and Me: ANNOYED. AMUSED. Who is this dude? A cross between Dwight Schrute and Napoleon Dynamite.

Creeper continues as we stare at him: "I have a brown belt in karate."
Me: "Well, that's nice for you."
Creeper: "I would win in a competition vs. a kick boxer."
Me (getting all pissed off now): "Yeah, uh, no kidding. This is not a competition. Who says I'd fight you anyways."
Creeper (clearly not getting that we hate him): "My son got me started in karate. He dropped out and I kept going. Yep, all the way to brown belt. That's right. Brown."
Me: "That's quite an accomplishment." I started to feel bad that I was being a jerk. Then he hit us with it.
Creeper: "Yeah, I can bust planks in half."

NO WAY did he just say that! K is silently laughing beside me and I cannot decided if I am mad or amused or what but I am pretty sure that this guy could NOT block my kicks. Short sleeves and double bridged glasses? Let's be serious. Brown belt? Maybe from JC Penny.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Let's Roll

For some reason, I have really been wanting to try making my own sushi at home so I decided to attempt it last night. I got all the supplies mostly from a local oriental grocery and gift store - that was an experience in itself. I love how they have gifts and groceries in the same store - how convenient!

After watching several videos on how to properly roll sushi (sushi actually means "vinegared rice") I felt like I was ready to attempt it. I made the rice according to Alton Brown's method (Martha's called for all these contraptions that I don't own, *snicker*), wrapped the bamboo mat in plastic wrap, layed out the seaweed paper, and julienned the vegetables and crab sticks (for California rolls).

The first piece I rolled was sort of hard to cut, and it looked terrible. Nothing I would serve. I tried again and this one turned out great! As I kept going, they kept getting better and better. It's like rolling a mini sleeping bag.

How did they taste? Well, I guess I'd have to work on that too if I was being totally honest. I could have used a taste tester because I knew I was just convincing myself that they were good, but in actuality they were not the best. It's just that they should have been good. I used imitation crab, carrot, cucumber, and avocado. I should have used some mayo, but I didn't want to, so maybe next time. Also, the rice was too vinegary (I loathe the taste and smell of vinegar) so maybe less next time. The wasabi paste I got was so intense I had tears streaming down my face! Kung POW!

Either way, I had fun doing it and will attempt it again. I will need some friends to come over though because I may or may not have purchased 12 pairs of chopsticks with cool oriental symbols on them.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Enormous Gummi Bear

Check him out! It's the size of my coffee cup! It is a real, edible gummi bear. Awesome.

Monday, January 4, 2010

P90 - Complete!

January 3rd marked my 90th day - the finish - the goal of the P90 (Power 90) program. If you are not familiar with P90 is it a workout and diet plan from the Beachbody Fitness team (read all about it here). Basically, I have worked out 6 days a week and followed a 1,300 calorie per day diet of all home cooked meals for 90 days. Strictly. No Taco Bell (this is no joke), no Subway, no Wendys. I have eaten in a restaurant occasionally but have made the best choices possible (salads, steamed veggies, baked fish no sauce, basically a waiter and chef's nightmare). Did I mention no Taco Bell!?!?

As you know, I entered a Biggest Loser contest at work and really needed to step it up a notch, not just because I wanted to win, but because I was ready. Ready to lose weight, ready to get into shape, ready to be healthy, and ready to really make a significant change in my life - for the good and hopefully forever. I knew I needed to do something different than what I was doing so I tried to find a new program. I had seen P90X on TV, online, and numerous other advertisements. I didn't think I was ready for it. Words like "extreme" and "ripped" didn't sound like what I was doing for. Thanks again to Kylee and Craig who did some research and recommended the P90 for me as they were doing the P90X (Power 90 Extreme) and it was encouraged to do P90 before attempting the X.

Guess what? I did it. And you know what else? It's working - really working. I have lost about 22 pounds since I stared on October 3rd and this is just the beginning. (PS 22 pounds for a 5 foot tall person is a lot!).

How do I feel? MOTIVATED. Really freakin motivated. I have noticed a big change in myself and I like it. I don't apologize for not eating the birthday cake people bring in to work (in fact, most people don't even offer it to me anymore). I am starting to be ok with going out all night without drinking (this was and is extremely hard for me). I can have fun and have a few, I really can. This is a HUGE step for me as I do seriously enjoy the booze. I just pick one event every two months where I let myself indulge and go from there.

How do I keep it up? ACCOUNTABILITY. I talk about my goals to my friend and family - and I cannot thank them enough for their support. PS - I still need it, for sure. You guys are the BEST and I cannot do it without you. The next round of the Biggest Loser starts next week at work and I want to flippin win it this time. Not second place, FIRST. I would be happy with second, let's be serious, but I am in it to win it. I have a calendar on my fridge where I record my workouts and my diet every day. Using a scale from 1-10 I grade myself everyday on how closely I followed the guidelines. I want a TEN everyday. I hate seeing a 5 and knowing I could have done better.

What's next? You got it - P90X! Bring it. It's on the way in the mail (Christmas present thanks to Mom, Dad and Jamie) and I cannot wait. I am so excited to get to that next level and start my next 90 days of extreme workouts. Even though I have heard that it is wildly challenging and many people cannot get through some of the routines, I think I am ready mentally for the challenge.

So, next time I high-five you a little too hard or you catch me flexing in the mirror, don't hate on me, it's just that I am in the zone and it's good here.

I like that they defined "Husky"

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine.
This was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency
Out of Women Employees: There’s no
longer any question whether transit
companies should hire women for jobs
formerly held by men. The draft and
manpower shortage has settled that
point. The important things now are to
select the most efficient women available
and how to use them to the best
Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject
from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They
usually have more of a sense of responsibility
than their unmarried
sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious,
they need the work or they
wouldn't be doing it, they still have
the pep and interest to work hard
and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women,
try to get ones who have worked
outside the home at some time in
their lives. Older women who have
never contacted the public have a
hard time adapting themselves and
are inclined to be cantankerous and
fussy. It’s always well to impress
upon older women the importance of
friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that
“husky” girls—those who are just a
little on the heavy side—are more
even tempered and efficient than
their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each
woman you hire a special physical
examination—one covering female
conditions. This step not only protects
the property against the possibilities
of lawsuit, but reveals
whether the employee-to- be has any
female weaknesses which would
make her mentally or physically unfit
for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance
of time the fact that a minute or two
lost here and there makes serious
inroads on schedules. Until this
point is gotten across, service is
likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite
day-long schedule of duties so that
they’ll keep busy without bothering
the management for instructions
every few minutes. Numerous properties
say that women make excellent
workers when they have their
jobs cut out for them, but that they
lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside
employee change from one job to
another at some time during the day.
Women are inclined to be less nervous and
happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods
during the day. You have to make some
allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has
more confidence and is more efficient if she
can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick
and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making
criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they
can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do.
Never ridicule a woman—it breaks her spirit
and cuts off her efficacy.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong
language around women. Even though a girl’s
husband or father may swear vociferously,
she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where
she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms
so that each girl can have a proper fit. This
point can’t be stressed too much in keeping
women happy.

Friday, January 1, 2010

The Tooth Fairy

Dear Dwayne Johnson,

First, let me start this letter by telling you that I have loved you since your wrestling career as the Rock and the long haired warrior days of the Scorpion King. I supported you when you chiseled yourself down to a leaner man, however still tough and hard-core. You have a charisma like no other and I am bound to watching whatever production you take part in.

So please don't take this the wrong way when I ask you what the hell you are doing in movies like The Tooth Fairy? Really? Tights and wings? With a tagline the "You can't handle the Tooth," we already know this is not your best work.

Dwayne, you are arguably one of the hottest men on the planet is this really the best role for you? I don't care if you do Scorpion King 3 with a terrible plot. As long as you are kicking ass and not bothering with the names, we'll watch you.

For 2010, I would really like to see you in another action flick. I would accept a comedy, but it should be rated R. And you need to have at least 4 ass-kicking scenes. And get really mad at least once.

PS - Keep doing that thing with your eyebrow. You "ROCK."