Most of you know that I am getting married next year. Most of you also know that I am one who is always trying to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Last year, I lost about 30 pounds and gained about 10 of those lovely little devils back in the summer. Annoying. I think losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle is a struggle or a constant effort for most people. I find that I have to fight to stay on track but sometimes that is a fine line between staying on track and obsessing for me.
We started the biggest loser contest again at work in mid-September. I have been losing weight consistently....at a freaking snail's pace. Molasses runs faster. Every week I lose .4, .2, .6, gain .2, lose .4 and so on. Overall, I have lost 11 pounds since September so that is good -the scale is going down, right???
Here is where I want to scream though. Sometimes I feel like I am making so many sacrifices, passing on the dessert ALL THE TIME, getting up early to pack my lunch EVERY DAY, finding time to work out when I don't feel like it, and so on. Yes, I am losing weight, but for how hard I am trying, I feel like I would like to be losing more than less than half a pound a week. Ok, ok, so I got drunk TWICE in two months, but believe me, that is a sacrifice.
Sometimes I feel like I am at the bottom of a mountain staring at the peak and thinking, I can't. I just can't do it. But I know I have to. And I have to MY WHOLE LIFE. It's not like after my wedding I can just start eating pizza every day and never pick up a dumbbell again. I have to do this routine FOREVER. It just seems insurmountable to me sometimes.
Bottom line - I need some inspiration. And I don't mean posting pictures of swimsuit models on my fridge because let me tell you something - that shit does not work for me. In fact, it makes me want to dive head first into a peanut butter jar and then root through the cupboards for the chocolate that I asked my amazing fiancee to hide for me. Then back to the PB. Maybe some potato chips now.....
Yes, the wedding is motivation, but it is still 11 months away. Flat out, I need to do this for myself. Not for an event, not for vanity, yes for health, but mostly just so I can climb this insurmountable hill made of stupid molasses and stay on the top. Just to say I did it and I will never go back.
I'll start Friday.