Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Food Poisoning

On the last day of the month, the last NaPloMobononon, I wanted to write a profound, eloquent post.

However.

I thought of a new topic.  Food Poisoning.  I was thinking about this the other day as I was leaving a particularly smelly bathroom wondering who had done that to this restroom at this time of the day (noon!).  I once had food poisoning and every time I told the story (yes, it was a funny story, so I had told it a few times), the reaction was the same.

"Did you call the restaurant?"

Um, what?  And.....HELL NO.

"You should have told them what you ate since it was obviously bad and they should stop serving it.  Maybe they would give you a free meal next time."

Let's discuss this and why I would never do it.

1)  Calling the restaurant and explaining what happened.  "Yes, Cracker Barrel*?  If you are wondering who destroyed your bathroom, well that was me.  Sorry about that....it was the mashed potatoes.  Yeah, yeah.  I ate all of them but they made me really sick.  Throw up?  Nope.  The other kind."

2)  Going back.  "Hi, I am the one who called and created the bio hazard in your restroom.  Yep.  I'll take my coupon now.  Thanks!  See you later!"

3)  Actually eating the food again.  "I'll take the mashe.....oh wait.  How about the chickinNdumplins?  Yeah-no.  I'll take the corn....oh wait, those taste like mashed potatoes too, right?  Come to think of it, this entire place looks and smells like mashed potatoes.  I sort of want to get sick now.  Does my coupon apply toward the General Store?"

*Note, nothing against Cracker Barrel, it was just the first restaurant that popped into my mind and it fit nicely with  my story.  Other restaurants that come to mind are Star Diner, PF Changs, and Hooters.  Ick.

7 comments:

Sassytimes said...

I had food poisoning from Frickers once and it was awful! I can't even stand the sight of the building without getting a sour stomach. Yuck.

wrestling kitties said...

Oh, I hate that!!! Yeah, I don't think I would ask for a coupon from the place that made me sick. blech.

I don't think it was food poisoning, but rather Tony Packos NOT agreeing with me. However, I did not take it out on Tony Packos bathroom but rather Kohl's bathroom which is where we went after. I destroyed it and was afraid I would not be able to go back to my favorite store after that....I shopped online for awhile to make amends.

Written Permission said...

Haahaaaa! This whole post made me laugh. :) Particularly the idea that everything at Cracker Barrel looks, smells and tastes like mashed potatoes. Because it kind of does.

(Also, I sort of have an embarrassed sort of love for the General Store.)

Other than once when I was SUPER drunk, I've never sullied a public bathroom. But I am in total agreement with you about not calling the restaurant afterward. "Your food gave me the voms and the poopy-poos. Can you refund my check?" Yeah. Not happening.

Erika Jean said...

yuck! I have had food poisoning twice and never called either place... on place was Arby's, both me AND my sister came home and puked our guts out - we had the same kind of sandwich that we thought tasted a little "odd" but seemed ok...I haven't had a sandwich there since!

The other place was a really expensive steak place. I will NEVER go back. Horrible.

Lauren Tracy said...

Um, I have gotten food poisoning at P.F. CHangs and Ciao in Toledo. I will never go to either. again. for a discount or free. NeVER!

Mickey D. said...

"Does my coupon apply toward the General Store?" Hahahha!

Fantastic. Great last post.

I had food poisoning once. Ho boy! It was from an uncooked tamale at Mi Hacienda and I knew within a couple hours that things were not gonna be pretty. They weren't. I actually went back there a week later to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. And wouldn't you know it, there was a huge shard of glass in the bottom of my green beer! 0 for 2, Mi Hacienda, 0 for 2.

I still ate there but I haven't touched a tamale since. So funny how that has a lasting effect on a person.

Ky • twopretzels.com said...

I'm laughing.

Awesome.