Monday, October 25, 2010

CSI: Special Barbie Unit

On my walk/jog path around my neighborhood, there is this one house on a corner lot that has become a wretched fixation for me.  It's a mess.  I hate it.  It depresses me and frankly, it's a little scary sometimes.  I live in a family neighborhood where the majority of people take care of their houses and lawns and this one sticks out like a raper van.  Did I mention I hate it?

I am NOT the queen of clean and often struggle with my own organization, but this backyard is a pig pen.  When I walk by, I notice a new piece of junk every single day, whether it's new in the rotation or I have just now noticed it, I will never know.  This stuff is the kind of mess that creeps you out.  I hear that "dunk dunk" of CSI in my head when I walk by like it's a crime scene for dolls and Mariska Hargitay is about to pop out of the house. 

Here is the kind of sh*t is in the yard:
  • Standard toys like trucks, balls, bats, and bikes
  • Cracked Taco Bell Cup
  • Legos
  • Dorito  Bag (sans Doritos)
  • Single human shoe
  • Single Barbie shoe (ick!)
  • Naked Barbie (this always bothers me...)
  • Hair brush
  • Pepsi Bottle
  • Pair of Jeans
  • Paper Plate
  • Glass (china) Plate
  • Yellow Rubber Glove (does it get worse than that?)
 I must mention that everything is COVERED with sand or mud so it seems like it has been there since dinosaurs roamed the earth.  I will update you with what I see next time I walk by.  It might be vomit.  My own vomit. 


Wendy said...

"raper van" - bwah hah haaaaah! You crack me up!

Ky • said...

I feel that you should make an anonymous call to Child Protective Services if children live there. :)

Sounds creepy to me.

AthenaBee said...

My neighbors and I complain about a house by us ALL THE TIME and the city finally told us they don't have time to do anything about it. Then hopefully they won't have time to do anything about it when Louis sets their dirty mattress on fire.

Erika Jean said...

yuck!! Do you live in a neighborhood with an HOA? Maybe they could do something?

Written Permission said...

So disgusting! We have a house like this a few streets over from us -- it goes through a constant stream of tenants and seems to accumulate more crap with each one. At one point, the entire porch, front and back yards and driveway were PACKED with stuff (stuff like what you mentioned, but also furniture. Like, there was a dresser on the porch). Apparently someone was stealing their awful, moldy stuff (that was left to the elements and vermin), because the current tenants have now put up signs that say "Keep Out: This Means YOU!" and other such threatening messages.


SassyTimes said...

Sounds very gross and creepy.

I had to laugh at the naked Barbie comment though. My 2 year old has a Barbie that she refuses to clothe. She calls her "Nakey Barbie" and tells me that she doesn't like clothes. I've explained to her that people have to wear clothes, even though they may not want to. In return, she tells me not to worry, it'll be okay, because Nakey Barbie will just always stay home. LOL. I will add though, that our naked Barbie would never be found out, covered in sand, in our yard. She's strictly a nudist in the comfort of our home. ;)

wrestling kitties said...

Gross. Have some respect for yourself and stuff. Just throw it away.