Last night my sister and I went out for my cousin's bachelorette party. On a Wednesday? Yes, well, that is because Hunkamania strikes once a month on a Wednesday at Fat Fish Blue at Levis Commons. Hunkamania is an all-male review that is absolutely packed once a month with ladies of all age, race, and religion - if their religion is sweaty men.
You have to go there with the bachelorette party mentality. Male strippers are not a turn on; they are hilarious, disgusting, and cheesy. They are also extremely physically fit and not afraid to do dumb things (like push ups and lip synch to a crowd of half cocked ladies). Half the time you are throwing dolla dolla bills at these greasy beasts to embarrass your friend, and the other half, you are watching some other crazy secretary gone wild shove George Washingtons in her cleavage and provoke the talent.
My favorite part is when someone's mom comes along and either acts disgusted (and secretly likes it) or gets really into it and just goes buck wild. I watched Mrs. Peeping Tom stroke a strippers butt last night and could not stop laughing. I really didn't think I was going to make it. There are so many things that happen there that are so wrong and gross but somehow it is extremely hilarious.
If men going to strip clubs is degrading to women, is it degrading to men when women go to an all male review? I think not. The stripper men love it and I think they might all be gay. Either way, we were laughing all the way home.
Have you ever arrived at work only to notice a stain or something on your shirt? Like, a permanent stain? It's not that you spilled coffee or tea on yourself this morning, it's more like your Chapstick exploded in the dryer and you were too tired to notice this morning as you were picking out your outfit.
That is what happened to me today.
So, at least 5 people have offered me a tide pen, 4 people asked me what I had for breakfast or lunch, 2 people told me I missed my mouth, and those that are "nice" just stare. I should have just gone home and changed.
1) If you have my email address - email me. Don't post on my Facebook wall, "Hey want to get dinner on Thursday?" No one cares is we are having dinner at Beirut on Thursday. Plus, I don't want to log into Facebook while at work because it's annoying. I don't want to be that plugged in; I want to Facebook at my own level of involvement.
2) Watchmen started out great and kept my interest on a Sunday night when I was very tired. However, it was VERY graphic and violent. Not quite what I was expecting. It had the potential to be pretty good, but went about 45 minutes too long. Did Dr. Manhattan really need to anatomically correct? Really...
3) I am really hoping September is nice - like 85 and sunny on the weekends so I can get tan again and enjoy the lake.
4) Ever notice how slowly the day goes by when it's raining or cloudy?
5) I really don't like any music that is current. All my favorite bands are not touring, disbanded, dead, or old as crap.
At bars often they put your name on the tab, especially when you are a regular. Today we had lunch at the Beach Bar on Clarklake where we are definitely regulars. I received my bill and at the top it said, "Eainn."
Every three months I get my oil changed like a responsible car owner - today was the day. I like the Lube Mart (support the local business) on the corner of Central and King. Not only do they get the job done in 10 minutes, you don't even have to get out of your car! Also, there is a TV that is a closed circuit camera that shows what is happening in the pit (not that I would have any idea what is going on down there anyway), but it's fun to watch.
So, my car was done and I asked him to reset my check oil light. The mechanic was tall and really wiry. He was self proclaimed 160 lbs and he was well over 6 feet tall and had been talking about going to Taco Bell for lunch the entire time they were servicing my car.
He sits down and goes, "Wow! Are your seats heated?" They are not, it is just that my temperature is always up and I am always hot. So I lied....
Last night sitting around chatting with some friends (evenly mixed gender crowd) a very interesting question/topic came up.
Name a movie where the female star really steals the show without using her sexuality.
We really only came up with two movies. This is harder than you think. I said The Sound of Music but it's too old (sidebar- I adore that movie!) This has to be fairly recent. Also, it has to have a starring male and it has to be a DECENT movie (Sister Act does not count).
The point is that Hollywood has completely been dominated by men and leading ladies are always sexy (and more often than not, lacking acting ability).
The 44th annual German American Festival is next weekend everyone! I hope you are beyond excited - I know I am! The shuttles are running again; they are a $6 ticket for ROUND TRIP from several locations including Arnies (which could not be more fabulous) and are available for purchase at all Andersons and shuttle locations.
At the festival, you will find amazing German type food, incredible import beers (also bud light for you non-adventurous folk), traditional German and Swiss dancing in full "costume," music, sports, contests, giveaways, raffles, mascots, church services, shopping, and port-a-potties and let's not forget the famous Glockenspiel demonstration! Aren't you excited?!?!?!?!
Get your Lederhosen on and join me next weekend at the GAF...you will not regret it.
Do you remember this? We watched Sesame Street when we were little - none of this Yo Gabba Gabba stuff or the Wiggles...just Sesame Street and 321 Contact. Here is one of my favorite clips I remember from my childhood. Go on YouTube and find some of these...WARNING...you might be on for hours watching Guy Smiley and Bert and Ernie.
Today I went to Babies R Us to buy a gift. Now, I find that store totally overwhelming and nerve wracking. I don't really understand the organization of the store itself and think the help there is not extremely helpful. Today I took a momfriend for support and help.
I asked a clerk to help me find two different items on the registry and not only could she not find them (I had searched to no avail even with an experienced BRU shopper), but she offered me no solution. Her: "Here is the spot where that would have been." Me: "Ok, are there any in the back?" Her: "Nope. Maybe at Toys R Us." Walks away.
At the register the Store Assistant Manager asks me if I found everything ok. I guess I took her literally and replied, "Well there were a few items on the registry that you don't have in the store and one of your clerks couldn't help me either." Her; "Ok, your total is....."
LOL! It really was ironic that she asked me how my experience was and then totally ignored me.
I let it go and she handed me my bag. Noticing the 8 pages of white paper in my bag, I asked her if they recycle the paper from the registries.
"Sure," she replied...and threw it in the garbage can.
Last night we hit up Ventura's, a local Mexican joint on Bancroft that has been a Toledo favorite for YEARS (maybe since the 70s). It is always packed and has fantastic food and was a nice change from El Camino. I tend to frequent Camino as it is walking distance from my house - fist pump. I was in the mood to splurge (since I can come directly from weight watchers) and this was a good choice.
What is it about cheese dip that is so incredible? How can something as simple as chips and salsa be so amazing?
I only wish that I could enhance my Mexican fiesta experience more by guzzling down margaritas. They have all kinds of flavors now - peach, mango, strawberry, half and half! However, margaritas give me such outrageous heartburn that I feel and look 9 months pregnant and no one likes a drunk pregnant lady.
After months and months of research, heming and hawing, polling friends, and using that online tool to see if my friends are "IN", I have become a part of BLACKBERRY NATION!
Today I made an exciting purchase - the Blackberry curve. My sister has this version and it is a very reliable, user friendly smart phone with all the applications that I want, in the size that I want.
Since I absolutely lose my patience with 16 year old dudes in tight shirts "selling" me phones at a kiosk or an overcrowded room, I made the purchase online via the Verizon wireless website. The process was easy and I got a good deal, supplemented by an online chat with a support specialist (who actually was helpful).
Shipping and handling is free and I should be getting my little gem in two days. I will keep you updated.
Yesterday my email box was stressing me out so bad that I selected all and hit delete....just like that. I had about 2,000 emails in my hotmail account dating back to March of 2008 that I have not looked at in forever so I just got rid of all of them.
It was like cutting your hair -you are afraid to do it, but after it's done, you feel free and weightless.
Then I went to my gmail account that I never look at and did the same thing...AWESOME!
I keep my work email pretty organized so that was not a big problem.
Over the weekend my friend and once loyal reader told me my blog has become really lame and he has stopped reading. I was really shocked, hurt, and wanted to punch him in the face. So, I listened to what he had to say in order to become a better blogger (but mostly so I could blog about it).
He told me that my blog was better when I had more "encounter" stories and when I was ranting and raving more. He doesn't like product reviews and "dumb" stuff like that (movie reviews are ok). I guess my blog was better when my job SUCKED and I was not as happy as I am now (like all good writers). He also said I need to blog more - like every day. Right now, I am SUPER busy at work and don't have a lot of downtime to blog (unlike when I was staring a computer all day or living at the Red CARPET Inn - barf.)
Here's the thing, I am not allowed to write about my job and what happens here - it is company policy (I might get in trouble for writing that) so all that good fodder is moot - and it is some really good stuff. I will try to write more encounter stories - I promise.
So, my friends and readers, if you think my blog has become lame or if you are bored with it I am really, truly sorry, and I am making a comeback - starting now! I love this blog and love writing. Everyone knows I am fairly opinionated and extremely passionate and this is a great spot to get it all out.
For those of you patiently waiting...here is the ROR update for this year! For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Clark Lake tradition of Raft-O-Rama, it is the first Sunday of August where participants decorate their pontoon boats according to a theme and we have a parade around the entire lake. This year's theme was "Occupations." A board of judges select winners in different categories and there is also the "People's Choice" award, clearly selected by the people of Clark Lake. Now, it is not just the actual parade that makes up ROR, there is also a 5k run, a chicken dinner supporting the local Lyons Club, and other fundraisers supporting the Spirit of Clark Lake fund (yes, this is an actual fund). So, it's for charity! Partying for a good cause is so gratifying.
Our raft: Clark's Towing
Here are the two rafts, Tow Truck and Car (hence multi-craft): (Click to enlarge)
Our Coveted Awards: Most Enthusiastic Best Multi-Craft
The People's Choice Winner: Clark Lake Fire Department (Beck and Friends)
The Overall Winner: Superheroes
It was an amazingly fun day and we had perfect weather. Thank you to BJ who really made it all happen. Of course Sal, Kaci, Jake also... Can't wait for next year...
Perhaps I am the only person in America that has not seen Superbad, so I remedied that last night....holy crap was it funny. It totally lived up to its hype and I was lovin' McLovin!
My favorite parts: 1) The, uh, ahem...drawings! Good Lord! I really didn't think I was going to make it. Sick, just sick. Sickeningly funny. 2) McLovin getting surprised punched in the face by the robber. LOL! 3) Every single scene the cops were in. You know I love Seth Rogen and he just kills every scene he's in. Bill Hader (the other cop that is on SNL) is also amazing. Drinking crooked cops! Too funny. 4) Poor, awkward Michael Cera. You just can't help but laugh at the accidental boob grab. 5) Second part to poor, awkward Michael Cera...the singing part. OH boy! 6) The dialogue itself had me in tears most of the time. Teenage boy banter is uber raunchy. They are always trying to score, but calling each other some derivative of homosexual. Totally amusing.
If you have not seen Superbad, go see it, and if you haven't seen it in a while, go see it again.
Inspired by Two Pretzels from yesterday, here is my list of random things you may not know about me...
1) I received my nickname that has become my name "Een" because when I was a newborn baby my older sister Jamie (who was 18 months old) couldn't get my full name out. She just shortened it! Thanks Jamie, I love it.
2) My first impersonation was Mickey Mouse. My parents had bought us a record of "Mickey and the Bean Stalk" and I had the whole thing memorized and I would recite it in the Mickey voice. Apparently, I made my family call me Mickey for a year and had a huge collection of Mickey memorabilia.
3) I can do the worm (or caterpillar as some people call it). Backwards too.
4) I have been to Europe three times.
5) In college, I won two belly flop contests, one in Florida and one at our very own UT rec center.