Wednesday, November 26, 2008

You know who has the best wings?

The Toledo Hospital. Yup. According to this post on craigslist, The Toledo Hospital featured a hot wing buffet that this woman's husband just loved. I laughed out loud when I read this one. I mean, really.

Click here for my craigslist posting of the week.

(Weird) people love me

Today at the gas station ($1.58!) I found myself in a small talk situation with a he-man woman hater. This older gentleman (around 60s), who happened to have a black eye, pulled up in the filling station that butted up against mine, got out of his pickup (complete with hop-cap) and slammed his door.

Black-eye: "MAN ALIVE! I don't mean to pick on your gender, but women are idiots!"
Me: Oh? (apparently I am an idiot too).
Black-eye: "I mean, this idiot woman, no offense, just blocked three pumps with her jalopy to get $4.00 worth of gas!" But no offense....
Me: "Was she blonde?"
BE: "Yes, what an idiot!" I guess me missed my sarcasm here.
Black-eye goes on and on the entire time it takes to fill my Jeep Compass telling me why women are idiot drivers and how gas used to be 25 cents. After listening to what rivaled a homily in length and boringness, I get into my car.
BE: "Have a nice Thanksgiving!"

I think I have missed my calling to be a psychiatrist.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sleigh Ride from Hell

Right now, someone is whistling "Sleigh Ride" in the office very loudly, and I mean very loudly. There have been at least three verses whistled and it has been going on for about 5 minutes. Every time I think it's going to end, it starts again (giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let's go....).

Monday, November 24, 2008

Poll: James Bond - You Pick


If you could pick one actor to play the next Bond, who would it be?

I started asking this question over the weekend and it was difficult for those polled to come up with an answer.

My vote: Hugh Jackman.

Christmas Cocktail

Moe and Michelle concocted this amazing cocktail that is going to be fantastic and festive for the holiday season. I loved it and it was fun seeing you two in Port Clinton over the weekend. Allow me to share the wonderful drink:

1) Vodka
2) Champagne
3) Diet 7-Up Pomegranate (new and for a limited time!)
4) Fresh Cranberries
5) Lime wedge



PS Don't bite into the fresh cranberries even though you want to - they are bitter!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Subway, eat fresh?

This morning around 7:10 am, I had to get cash before a little road trip to Findlay. On Secor across from MC Sporting Goods there is a Huntington ATM that I always hit up. Now, if you know the area, you know there is also a Subway in that plaza/parking lot.

So, I casually get my money, drive through, just minding my own business, and drive towards the exit. I see the lights are on at Subway so I look in. What do I see? I see a man doing some prep work with an apron on and NO SHIRT. Repeat: NO FLIPPING SHIRT. This dude is actually handling the cold cuts, bare chested!

WHAT!?! I was so grossed out and shocked, I thought I was seeing things. Mr. 6" not only has no shirt on, but also a very hairy chest and is hovering over the condiments! Do I call the sanitation department? What worries me more is that I couldn't see his bottom half to verify if he was wearing pants. The thought of that takes me back to that scandal from Rally's and the mayo jar (gagging as I type this).

Seriously, do I call the sanitation department, the Blade, Jared or what?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Toledo Bullfrogs

Toledo's Arena Football Team name was announced yesterday as the Toledo Bullfrogs. Read the Blade article here. What do you think of the new name? Do we get to throw frogs out on the field at halftime?




Quantum of Solace

It's good. Pretty good. The Daniel Craig Bond series is WAY better than the Pierce Brosnan series, no question. Remember Die Another Day with Halle Berry? I was laughing during most of it. Those Bond's were cheesy and predictable with terrible acting and terrible effects.

The new Bond, however, is really slick. Craig is a terrific Bond, suave and cold, but also charming and intense - very dashing. I was never into the old 007 though, so that might have some effect on my feeling. I know a lot of people don't really like these new movies because they think Sean Connery is the only Bond (and he is good no argument there), but I never watched the original movies when I was young.

If you liked Casino Royale, you will love Quantum of Solace.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

You Didn't Sell Me, Bucko

This morning at the Toledo Club, I was privy enough to attend a little seminar entitled: Selling in a Weak Economy. The first speaker was a woman from UT, very polished, good presentation. The second person, however lost me at hello.

He was the typical used car sales man type, good ol' boys, cliche' kind of man's man. In the first three minutes, he totally turned me off. His topic should have been called, "How to offend Women and make sure they know that Sales is a Man's world and to get back in the Kitchen where they belong."

He starts by asking us if we know what our company's elevator pitch is (we all know this and have delivered it a million times). Mr. Man calls on another Big Burly guy and says, "What do you say to another guy you meet at a cocktail party right away? How's business? What do you do for a living?" Then he proceeds to say, and I am not joking, "Ladies might be a little slower on the draw for this one, but guys always talk business."

Seriously. You lost me. As if you ever had me with a short-sleeved dress shirt on. It took every bit of me not to laugh out loud. Every.single.inch. Wow.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Help me understand, Ed

I realize that I live in Toledo, OH, will never be filthy rich and what I deem luxury, others do not. That being said, can ANYONE tell me why in the world someone would pay $188 for a flipping t-shirt? I just cannot understand why I see people running around TOLEDO in Ed Hardy shirts that cost 600% more than what it costs for production. Are they that cool? Do the proceeds go to some great cause of which I am not aware?

Charging this much for "designer" clothes makes me sick. What makes me sicker is that the shirts are basically see-through and you probably have to get them dry cleaned. Barf. Call me a hater. I won't be donning Ed Hardy just to fit in or be cool. I am going to rock my Isaac Mizrahi Target (read Tar-szhea) special from the clearance rack so I can afford another Put-In-Bay trip next summer.

Did you watch?

Last night the Frisch Family of Toledo's episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition aired. Seeing Toledo highlighted on national television (in a positive way) was really nice. I couldn't believe how fast the hour of the show actually went knowing how much planning, time, effort, volunteering, and coordinating went into one week of the show's taping and the building of the new home. Did you watch?

Read the Blade article here.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Close encounter of the inappropriate kind

In line today at Walgreens, I was staring at the "tabloids" and weekly magazines. The guy in front of me (who looked like an older Neal McDonough) must have noticed I was checking them out and just had to chit chat with me.

Random guy: "I love reading these magazines. They're so interesting."

Me: "I know, I always look at them when I am in line."

Increasingly weird guy: "I just love to know who's screwing who, ya know?"

Me: "Huh."

He was buying duct tape, rope, KY jelly and donuts. No, just kidding...

Friday, November 14, 2008

BJ's Blogworthy Thought of the Day

My crazy friend BJ will often call me and ask me a question and then tell me that he thinks it is blogworthy. Our discussion (via text) is definitely blogworthy, so here it is...

His question: What are the words to "here comes the bride" and why don't we sing it at weddings?

Well, my short answer is that is extremely tacky and no one should sing at the ceremony unless they are a hired soloist. I couldn't find words to "Here Comes the Bride.." although in my head I hear "fair, fat and wide..." but I did find an interesting article about the history of the Bridal Processional.

The processional piece is from Lohengrin, an opera written by German composer Wilhelm Richard Wagner, is from the part of the opera when the bride is sitting in the bridal chambers just after the wedding ceremony. The ironic part about so many people using this piece, is that is opera ends in tragedy as the marriage of Lohengrin and Elsa is a total disaster and ends shortly after it begins. Some churches even refuse to play it since it is a secular piece and symbolizes the failure of a marriage.

Moral of the story and the point of our research, is to not play the Bridal Processional at your wedding and stick with the Pachelbel.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dreams

Tell me about your dreams. I don't mean that you want to be an astronaut when you grow up, but what you dream when you sleep. Do you dream in color, are they pleasant, etc...

Typically, I have very vivid intense dreams that sometimes make sense and sometimes are so bizarre I would be really hesitant to tell anyone about them. Often, they are terrifying but I realize they are a dream and I can wake myself up to escape. For instance, last night I dreamt that someone (someone I know) was trying to kill me and while trying to escape I jumped into my bed. In my bed, I found an already dead body. The smell and color of the blood were so vivid it made me almost sick. When I woke myself up, I was so panicked and out of breath, it seemed real and I was still scared.

Sound familiar to anyone?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thank You

Thank you to our armed forces, past and present that protect and fight for us.

From Wikipedia about today, November 11:

It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)

For you grammar freaks:
The holiday is commonly printed as Veteran's Day or Veterans' Day in calendars and advertisements. While these spellings are grammatically acceptable, the United States government has declared that the attributive (no apostrophe) rather than the possessive case is the official spelling.[2]

Craig's Rage

How funny is this one? It was listed under rooms/shared.

PS - You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I just can't get enough of craigslist!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Have you never seen HGTV?

As you know, I love Craigslist, and I look at the For Rent section often. I love how those wishing to rent their homes sometimes post the worst possible pictures. Sometimes they are dark, sometimes they are blurry, often they show nothing but the outside. It's not hard to take a clear picture in a well lit room. These crack me up. Look at this one for example. The picture at the bottom has been taken to show you the fireplace, but their thumb is over the lens right at the spot where the fireplace is!

http://toledo.craigslist.org/apa/912505844.html

Madagascar 2

Topping the box office this weekend was Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa. I took my little cousins to see it and we all enjoyed it.

Highlights:
King Julien (voice of Sasha Baron Cohen) - What a crazy little character. His one liners are just insanely funny. They are boarding a plane and he yells, "I am coming! I have scissors and hand cream!" I cracked up.

Makunga (voice of Alec Baldwin) - This lion looked and moved like Baldwin, his hair was even that black swooping bouffant of Baldwin's. Terrific.

The story was cute and funny and moved pretty quick. I would recommend seeing it!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Craigslist

While perusing Craigslist today, I wandered onto different sections that I don't normally read.

Highlights:
There is a haiku section. My favorite one was titled "Mexican Adventure" by a poet named bunghammer. Click here to read it. Trust me, you want to.

Next, I found under the Best of Craigslist, an ad of sorts for a potential girlfriend. This guy has way too much time on his hands, but I laughed out loud several times at his girlfriend test consisting of true/false, multiple choice, and short essay questions. Click here to read his questionnaire. Do it, you will thank me.
Someone called me back that I had left a message for and asked for...."Pauline Zandor."

Trashy Customer Service

Last night we watched the poor Browns lose a game they should have won at 6-pack on Sylvania Avenue. Although it was nice to see Brady Quinn playing, the Browns just didn't close the deal.

Anyway, Dad, the Shark, and I went to the bar because the game was not on regular TV (that's crap by the way, and an entirely different story). Toward the end of the game, my Dad really wanted some popcorn, or pretzels, or whatever. Light fare, as he put it. The waitress gave us a menu that highlighted nachos, chicken wings, and all things fried, none of which would have fallen into the popcorn category.

So, she comes back around and asks us if we want to order anything. Politely, we decline. Dad says again, "I really just wanted some popcorn or something light." She thinks for a moment, and as if a light bulb goes off in her head, pipes us and tells us a customer was in earlier with a bag of popcorn. She knows it was wrapped in plastic and should be at the top of the garbage can. "I can go get it out of the trash if you want it." This was a serious offer. "No, uh, um, thank you." Smile.

She walks away and my Dad mouths, "I.can.get.it.out.of.the.trash.if.you.want.it?"

Now, that's customer service.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Sweet

It really bugs me when people abbreviate Suite as Ste. while typing. As if taking out the "u" and the "i" and adding the "." make it SO much easier. Seriously.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Office

My new place of employment lies in Springfield Township and every morning, afternoon, and early evening I pass the intersection of King and Hill where I hear gunshots.

At first I thought I was making it up in my head, "Those can't really be gunshots? I bet it's someone slamming 2x4s down on the cement all day. Yeah, that makes more sense." Then my mind wandered and I kept thinking there was some crazy street fight going on in Springfield between two gangs or it was a political rally that just got intensely out of hand.

Finally, I found it out. It is just a trap and skeet shooting range aka the Adams Conservation Club as told to me by a coworker today. Amidst this conversation, our wonky secretary yells out from across the office, "I LOVE skeet shooting! Woo-hoo!" and proceeds to pantomime shooting a rifle.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Baby Shower Question

I feel that I have perfected the wedding gift buying (and amount that is appropriate to spend and all the rules, etc...). However, what about baby showers?

These are less frequent for me, although having attended at least 22 weddings in the past 5 years, these suckers are going to start poppin' out everywhere (showers, not babies, er....).

So, what do I spend on a gift? What are the different levels? Friend, close friend, family, close family? Opinions please (especially you Mothers).

Election Day Quiz

My sister sent me this. Appropriate for today! Click here to take the quiz.

Halloween Pics