Monday, October 13, 2008

A series of uncomfortable events

Kicking off my second week at the new job, the sales team went out to lunch today. We went to Mezzmerize, a Mediterranean restaurant on Dussel. This place is VERY nicely decorated and the food is outstanding. Go there. I digress.

So, out to lunch with the new co-workers and I order a salad. Safe, right? Not so much. This salad comes out and it is ENORMOUSLY embarrassing. The plate might as well be the serving dish you use for the Thanksgiving turkey. "Huh, huh. Anyone want some?" I say over top of my heaping pile of leaves. Have you ever ordered something at lunch and it was HUGE? Like, huger than everyone else's and causing you uneasiness? Ugh.

After work, I hit up Urban Active (aka the best gym in Toledo). Now, when I change in the locker room, I find a corner where no one is, shimmy and wiggle out out my work clothes, into my workout clothes, never exposing anything, and never, ever facing outward. I was minding my own business when this woman comes up to my corner. Stands right next to me and just strips. Naked. Totally naked. She proceeds to put her clothes on my headband (on the bench) and water bottle. Now I'm FORCED to talk to her. I try to be discreet, but am absolutely faced with full frontal nudity from a woman that I have never met. Wow. I tried to ask the bushwoman if that was her water bottle or if it was mine all while avoiding eye (or anything else for that matter) contact.

On one hand, good for you for being so comfortable with your body. On the other, I am not that comfortable with your body so get your own corner lady. I'm taking my monstrous salad and getting out of here.

9 comments:

Ky (Two Pretzels) said...

I am TOTALLY laughing out loud.

How uncomfortable is that?

TLC said...

wow. the gym scene made me uncomfortable. haha.

and yes, mezzmerize has HUGE portions. i ordered a side salad w/ my meal and the damn thing was GINORMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

All Things Red said...

I laughed out loud at your story too! I can just hear you telling it! I'm sorry you had to deal with silly naked girl - I find that annoying.

Ms. Bee said...

I ran into one of my neighbors at the gym in the locker room. She's an odd bird, probably around 55 years old. Well she came up to me and had a full on conversation with me COMPLETELY NAKED. It was so weird.

wrestling kitties said...

hahaha, that is so funny and yes very akward!

besides the luncheon and your mound of salad, I hope the new job is going well!

The Diva said...

I got a good laugh from this. I miss you.

P.S. A friend and I are going out for sushi tomorrow. Call me if you want to go!

Hurley said...

How old was she, and was she shaved?

Janis said...

You better stay away from Turkish Bath Houses! When I was in Istanbul I went to one and was confronted with 35 fully naked women. The only women who were dressed were the ladies who scrubbed and massaged your body. They wore black granny panties. Well, when in Rome or Turkey...

Iris Took said...

Hurley, she was about 50 and not shave. Repeat - NOT shaved at all. Full 70s porn bush.