Kicking off my second week at the new job, the sales team went out to lunch today. We went to Mezzmerize, a Mediterranean restaurant on Dussel. This place is VERY nicely decorated and the food is outstanding. Go there. I digress.
So, out to lunch with the new co-workers and I order a salad. Safe, right? Not so much. This salad comes out and it is ENORMOUSLY embarrassing. The plate might as well be the serving dish you use for the Thanksgiving turkey. "Huh, huh. Anyone want some?" I say over top of my heaping pile of leaves. Have you ever ordered something at lunch and it was HUGE? Like, huger than everyone else's and causing you uneasiness? Ugh.
After work, I hit up Urban Active (aka the best gym in Toledo). Now, when I change in the locker room, I find a corner where no one is, shimmy and wiggle out out my work clothes, into my workout clothes, never exposing anything, and never, ever facing outward. I was minding my own business when this woman comes up to my corner. Stands right next to me and just strips. Naked. Totally naked. She proceeds to put her clothes on my headband (on the bench) and water bottle. Now I'm FORCED to talk to her. I try to be discreet, but am absolutely faced with full frontal nudity from a woman that I have never met. Wow. I tried to ask the bushwoman if that was her water bottle or if it was mine all while avoiding eye (or anything else for that matter) contact.
On one hand, good for you for being so comfortable with your body. On the other, I am not that comfortable with your body so get your own corner lady. I'm taking my monstrous salad and getting out of here.