Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bathing Suit Shopping..not as depressing

Bathing Suit Shopping..not as depressing this year because I find the new style to be as ridiculous as they are terrible. Behold: The Monokini.

Examples from Victoria Secret:

This green zippy number is called a Zip-halter, one piece monokini by Kenneth Cole. The tag line on the website: "How low can you go?" Morally or what?

This suit has its own name: Vix (and it is trademarked). From the website: "Exclusively designed for Victoria's Secret. A stone-bold stunner." I would have to BE stoned to get into this thing.

This suit is from the Beach Sexy line. From the website: "Cut out for one stylish beach appearance." All that comes to mind here is banana split.

From the website: " A swim treasure to luster after, with handmade mother-of-pearl and glass bead embellishment." This suit actually has a metal ring on the front of it. If you paid attention in science class you would know that metal gets really hot in sunlight. Maybe branding is the new way to be beach sexy. "O" stands for "O man, am I hot!"


Hurley said...

I think you should get the bottom one or the top one-both nice options. The top one may cause a traffic jam with your bazooms!

p.s. Bazooms?!?

Kristen W. said...

Some of those are pretty ridiculous! I admit that I do like the bottom one, but the metal ring is unnecessary. I want to be a swimmer, not a burn victim!

Anonymous said...

Of all your blogs I have read, this is my favorite.

Anonymous said...

I have the top one. I go all the way.

M said...

These are two hilarious sentences: Maybe branding is the new way to be beach sexy. "O" stands for "O man, am I hot!"


I can see myself getting all kinds of tangled and twisted in these suits. No thanks.

Nadja said...

Monokinis make almost any normal human being look like they have love handles. And the one that has the stomach cut out would make me look like I have a donut display in front.

I'm still laughing at bazooms...

wrestling kitties said...

Oh goodness, talk about the interesting tan lines you would get.

M. I love your comment about getting all kinds of tangled and twisted in these - haha!

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