Friday, January 25, 2008

Taking compliments

It's one thing to say thank you gracefully, and its completely another to brag, but I just think it is sad when someone is complimented and their response is self-demoralizing.

For example, this morning at the gym during spin class, the instructor complimented a woman in the first row.
Instructor: "Your legs are beautiful! They are so long and athletic."
Woman: "No way, I have chicken legs. I hate them."

Too bad we can't appreciate ourselves more.

Can you take a compliment gracefully? Are you uncomfortable with compliments?

20 comments:

A. said...

I've actually caught myself doing the self-demoralizing thing. I try so hard not to, but those comments are the first things that pop into my head. Now, I force myself to say thank you and shut up.

All Things Red said...

I agree - it's instinct to say something negative, but I've tried to catch myself and say thanks.

wrestling kitties said...

I try hard to just smile and say thank you but typically I am very uncomfortable with compliments.

Mainly it is just compliments about myself I don't take well, compliments about my house, cooking, stuff like that I am more ok with.

Nadja said...

America's Next Top Model says:"Don't point out flaws that nobody would have noticed anyway." I tell you, it's like watching Socrates at work. But seriously, my mom ingrained it into my head to just say thank you and move on. Don't brag, don't say anything negative, just say thanks.

Chesty Chong said...

i love compliments!! anytime somebody gets to talk about me in a positive way, i just eat it up!!

"your hair is so beautiful"... "your writing rocked tonight"... "these deviled eggs are awesome"... "you make the best white russians"... should i keep going?

:)

t.w.i.t. said...

Whenever someone compliments me on my outfit, I feel the need to tell them how cheap it was.

"Thanks! I got these shoes at Target for $24.99, and this shirt was on clearance at Macy's..."

I should just accept the compliment gracefully and not turn the situation into a Today show "Style for Less" segment.

Hurley said...

"it's one think?" Moving on, I think you have very nice legs Een, and the next time someone calls you a long athletic chicken, you can tell them "touche mutha fucka!" I only skimmed your post, but I think I got the gist...ur teaching a spinning class, right? Good for you...second income!!! Ohhh Yeahhhh!

Hurley said...

Note to the author: I'm throwing down a Scrabble challange on Self-Demoralizing, and not because there are no hyphen tiles, because I think the word is self-deprecating. Aren't you glad you gave me your blog address?

Two/Dos Pretzels said...

T.W.I.T. - I do the EXACT SAME THING? What? You like my shoes? $9.99 at Target.

I'm in agreement, though. TAKE the compliment. "Thank you."

Iris - I commend you for getting up on a Friday before work and going to spinning class. NICE JOB.

Iris Took said...

Hurley, thanks for the thing/think heads-up.

PS
de·mor·al·ize (d-môr-lz, -mr-)
tr.v. de·mor·al·ized, de·mor·al·iz·ing, de·mor·al·iz·es
1. To undermine the confidence or morale of; dishearten: an inconsistent policy that demoralized the staff.
2. To put into disorder; confuse.
3. To debase the morals of; corrupt.

Iris Took said...

Thanks K! Love you!

TLC said...

i try to say "thanks"...but often end up making some sort of funny, self-deprecating comment.

perfect example: "nice work" or "thanks" from my boss = i say "I'm just doing my job."

i guess it's hard for me to take a compliment. although, i do like them.

Hurley said...

I wasn't confused about demoralizing being a word, it was the self part that caused me to blow out the challange of Scrabble. Don't be so defensive and just accept the put-down like u would a compliment...say thank you and be done with it.

Bridget said...

I am always trying to remember to say thank you, but it's been pounded into women from an early age not to...

Sometimes, it really makes me sound like an idiot. Last night someone said, "I love your bangs!" and I said, "they're too long." It just came out. Ugh.

Quiet Oasis said...

I always hate when people make some comment back like that. I feel dumb for even giving them a compliment. But if you are the person being complimented, you feel like if you say "thank you" that you really are saying, "I know. I'm so great."

Ugh.

Hurley said...

Thank you to my hobbit weener for getting me to start a blog, I have 11 posts in 15 days, I find it helps me be less of an asshole to people I see on a regular basis. BTW, that's Hobbit (comma) Weener...I don't have a hobbit weener...unless hobbit weeners are huge, then that's fine.

Hurley said...

Does anyone know how to erase comments you posted on someone else's blog?

Lauren said...

Well, I teach social skills to 2nd and 4th graders, and I taught a lesson about Accepting a Compliment. I never really thought about how people go about accepting compliments. When you disagree, or don't accept, it really does come off as if you don't value what the person is saying.

Two/Dos Pretzels said...

(I'd like to point out that I'd LIKE to be able to take a compliment, but just this afternoon someone complimented me on "how long" my hair is getting and how "it looks good" and I actually said..."What? Are you kidding? I haven't washed it in 2 days!"

I'm assuming a simple, "Thank you", would have sufficed.)

Jill Marie said...

Do you ever wonder why it is so easy to point out the negative, but we struggle to find the positive?? I try to stay positive about myself and others, it's just easier to see whats wrong with them. There goes my honesty again.