Like a crazy maniac trying to get ready for a trip out to Denver, I hit the mall after work on this past Thursday night. I needed a pair of winter hiking boots because I was leaving early Friday morning to visit my sister for Christmas. Finding sensible,weather-proof boots at the mall is no small feat. You can certainly find stiletto-ed, furry, uncomfortable, peep-toe, see through, gold, metallic, or totally-unsuitable-for-hiking-in-Colorado boots at the mall though.
Finally I find a good pair at Dick's. The last pair, 7.5, the display pair even! So I only tried on the right one had to get the left one off the display. I stand in a huge line, run a mile to my car, and then rush home to finish packing. I love my new boots, so I put them on naturally so I can walk around in them a little at home. Something seems funny now. The left boot seems bigger. Weird. I take them off and the left one is an 8.5. NO! NO! NO! Crap! It's 10:30 PM.
I call Dick's in the outside chance they are open. They are! I asked to be transferred to the outdoor department and talk to the clerk. I explain to him what has happened. He asks which size I want. "I need the 7.5." He wants to know which boot I have that is the 7.5. "I have the right one in the 7.5" He says hang on, and russles some stuff and goes, "Ok, got it. Just come here and I will get you all set up. Uh, we are only open another 25 minutes." "That's ok, I will be there in literally 5 minutes," because I am running out the door in pajamas and no coat.
I get to Dick's and run in like I won the lottery or something and I set down the mismatched boots on the counter with a big sigh, "I'm here to get the left 7.5 boot," I say with a big smile and a sigh. The two cashier girls stare at me like I am a Christmas elf that told them that Santa Claus does exist but is actually a cross-dresser and performs in Vegas during the off season. "Oh, well, I talked to someone upstairs and he said he had the boot." Cashier girl calls upstairs and explains on the phone. Silence. "No, she has the wrong size boots. No, one pair. Two different sizes. Right. Right. You don't? Shoot. Ok. Bye." BYE?? "Miss, he says we don't have them. We think we actually sold the other pair mismatched too. Sorry, we can return them for you."
So, I politely had a fit and told her that this does me no good since I don't have my wallet with me since I RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE to come back because her good-for-nothing clerk LIED TO ME ON THE PHONE AND FAKE RUSSLED AROUND WITH THE SHOE BOXES AND TOLD ME HE HAD THE OTHER BOOT!! "Thank you for your help, really," I say, "but your associate upstairs needs a lesson in customer service." Or he needs a book titled, 'How to NOT lie to customers that spend their money in your store you stupid jerk.'
I grab my mismatched boots that do me no good and storm off, get in my car and think to myself, "Some person is out there wearing two mismatched boots right now. Maybe they have two different sized feet. Or they are just going to open a very ill-fitting gift on Christmas morning."