Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Family Fast-Forward

This morning on Bob & Tom, comedian  Shane Mauss was featured discussing things like breaking both his feet and living with his parents, specifically watching Game of Thrones with them.   I was laughing so hard during this discussion about watching full frontal nudity on the couch with this guy's mom.  He noted that he is 35. 

Tom asked (or was it Chick) what was happening during all the graphic sex scenes and Shane mentioned that it just got really quiet.  Someone said - did your mom go make popcorn - for 15 minutes - because that's how long the whorehouse scenes are.

Just dying laughing.

Being one of three girls, we watched a lot of great movies as kids.  But, a lot of great movies have sex scenes in them and not all movies we watched could have been taped from TV on VHS to shelter us from the horrid scenes that make us all cringe. 


What do you do?  Popcorn is one, great, buttery solution.  The Dandar family eats at TON of popcorn still to this day.  The other solution?  Just call it what it is...

Family Fast-Foward.

That's what we do.  Still to this day.  Top Gun?  Great movie - but really - that one scene that ruins it all for everyone.  Family Fast-Forward.  What about Indiana Jones?  When they are on the boat?  It's not that intense, but uncomfortable enough.  Family Fast-Forward.  Let's not forget when we were all watching Walking Tall with the Rock on Christmas Day and there was a strip-tease scene.

Family Fast-Forward.

It's the right thing to do.  And now we can all laugh about it.  And eat your popcorn too. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Pizza Tour of Toledo: Mancino's

Mancino's Pizza, Airport highway 
I was not expecting much - I don't know why, but holy Moses, this was incredible pizza!  Mancino's is a division of Amy's and I love Amy's as I love Gino's. Here we go....
Crust - This is some of the best crust.  Medium thickness, cooked through and crispy on the edges.  Cheese goes almost ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE.  Fantastic.
Sauce - I am a fan of a pizza with thick and plentiful, rich sauce.   This is like Amy's and Gino's but just a little different. 
Overall Pizza Score - A+., just amazing pizza. We were trying to decide our favorite last night among our stops on the PTT and I really would rank Mancino's almost tied with J&Gs. They are both excellent but different in their own ways. 
What did ya eat?  Oh man. This is what's fun about dining with a group. You have options. We ordered the award winning 2002 - a pizza with a white butter garlic sauce that reminded me of a ricotta filling in lasagna (yum) topped with tomatoes and maybe spinach?  It was insanely good.  SO garlicy and delicious.   Next, the Mancinos Pride - I am forgetting everything on this pizza because my mind was so blown - pepperoni, mushroom, green pepper (we omitted because blech), onion and bacon.  Stop the press.  So good.  Plus, the grinders looked so good (and they are called Mancino's Pizza AND Grinders - so we had to).  We ordered the pizza and a chicken parm grinders.  These were both decent - but in the face of blow-me-down pizza, they were just ok.  I don't love toasted bread (sue me) and I thought they both needed more sauce (because that sauce is too good to be true).
Other items of note -  Great price!  For all that and 3 fountain drinks I think the bill was only $40 including tip.  You order at the counter and they bring it out to you - it's pretty quick.  Staff was extremely friendly and they loved my baby so EXTRA points to Mancino's staff.
Atmosphere - Much like Gino's and Amy's - it is nothing spectacular in there, but again, no one cares!  The pizza is what you are there for!  It was clean though and I did think the black and white checkered table tops were sort of novel.  I liked the music paraphernalia on the walls. 
Service - Nice, friendly staff that has been there for a long time.  Loyal.  LIKE BABIES :)

I am absolutely craving this pizza now.  I wish it was closer to my house and/or work so I could mow this za more often.  Fantastic.  No wonder you are the winner of the People's Choice Pizza Palooza many years in a row.  Great job, Mancino's. 

Next stop on the PTT - We are deciding.  Maybe making a road trip to Myles in BG.  Talked about giving Inky's another whirl (but I don't want to go back).  Still Village Idiot......and....don't judge me....I am DYING to try that soft pretzel pizza from Little Ceasar's.  It's just....well...I LOVE soft pretzels, nacho cheese, and pizza.  Is it possible that it's bad???

Until next time. on the Pizza Tour of Toledo....

Monday, September 15, 2014

4 months old....

Taylor, it has been 4 months since you came into our lives and filled our hearts with happiness and joy!  You are the cutest little peepster and we love you!  I bet you are excited for your official photo shoot later today !!!  Until then....
Here's you rocking the boots from Kate!  So cute. 

Here's you again, in the stroller you love so much, looking exactly like your Dad. 
Here's you again.... Looking so happy at the sitters!!

And finally, it's you again, being a sweetheart baby. 

My sweet girl- four months ago- this is what we were doing ...

Saturday, September 13, 2014

This line please

My commute to and from work has increased significantly now since we moved to Sylvania.  This past winter was horrible, just horrible for the commute, but I borrowed DT's 4-wheel drive and he has Sirius so I listened to Pearl Jam radio or Howard Stern every day.  Totally awesome.

Now the drive to work in the am takes about 30 minutes and I usually listen to the local talk radio.  The way home?  Ugh.  45 minutes.  It just absolutely kills me not to be doing something constructive during this time.  I catch up on my phone calls, but let's face it, unless you have hands-free, it's not that safe to be always on the phone.  Another thing - I talk ALL DAY LONG at work.  Sometimes, I need a break.

BOOKS ON TAPE.  Thanks for the suggestion CMC.

Yes!  This is perfect.  I will start educating myself whilst driving home!  This is the answer.

So I downloaded something last week that sounded interesting and thought I might learn something.  It was titled "Strategy" or something like that.  I was half-asleep when I selected it and it was on sale - boom!  Plus, it featured a bamboo-style woodwind soundtrack.  YES.

On my way home from work the next day, I started my Strategy session.  Music, fantastic.  The narrator's voice, soothing but not so soothing it would put me to sleep.  This is the best day of my life.

I started to notice the narrator talking about swords and bows and the enemy.  I just figured it was a metaphor, because you know, all smart people speak in metaphors.    The next day on the way home I came to realize, that these were hardly metaphors  -  this is a training session on how to use your swords in combat.  WHAT!  Combat!  The narrator was talking about striking down your enemy, mortally, and how to strike to segregate the hands, legs, and head.  UHHHHHH.......

But yet.....I continue to listen.

Then something else occurred to me.  I bought DT a set of Samurai swords for Christmas.


I guess the next time we fly, I'll be hearing, "Ma'am, this line please....."

It's the weekend guys!

Monday, September 8, 2014

Monday catch up

Hi everyone!  How was your weekend?  We are doing well - here are some quick TNT updates for you!

TNT continues to be a sweetheart baby and bring us joy every day.
Eating - like a champ
Sleeping - eh, hit and miss
Spit up - tons
Drooling - it's happening
Teething - I think maybe it's starting
Fashion - grown out of all 3 month clothes and into 6 month 
Playing - loves to shriek, smile, gurgle, and make zerbert noises.   

Basically?  Beyond adorable. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Happy Birthday Nana!

(pictured - Ligibel Family 8/30/14 Clark Lake Community Center)
Happy 90th Birthday Nana!!  To the greatest Nana on the planet - you are young at heart and inspiring to us all.  We wonder if Clark Lake is actually the fountain of youth, because you sure  have seemed to have found it.  Thank you for all you do -  your homemade cards, your phone calls, your dinners at the lake, your support of ALL of us grand kids and our activities and events.  All of our friends know NANA - and that means you are THERE for us in so many ways.  We love you Nana.  Happy Birthday (9/3/14).

Here is the song we wrote for you and had the privilege to sing to to and WITH you on Saturday. 

Presented at Nana's Party by Jamie, Sal and Een:
No celebration for Nana is complete without the songs and sayings of Nana.  Please feel free to sing along!
Nana can be heard sighing and yelling at Christmas time when Nat King Cole's voice comes over the radio - everybody knows....THIS is Nana's favorite...
Chestnuts Roasting on an open Fire/The Christmas Song
Moving onto another holiday, Nana always likes to decorate and have fun, but this egg-cellent holiday is never complete without announcing what time it is.....
The Easta Time is the time FO eggs and the time FO eggs is tha Easta TIME!
Nana always taught us to mind our manners and be little ladies when we were children.  We should always keep gum and saliva in our mouths at all times.
Best to tell us in a song version-
Oh theoradoa, don't spit on the floora, use the cuspidor-a, that's what it's for-a!
Nana is well traveled and even went with Jamie on a trip to Germany.  There a great lesson was learned to go while you can or hold it.
Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station. I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station.
Moonlight always makes me think of you.

Nana always makes the best of every situation.
She has a natural zest for life and has more fun than most people can ever hope to have.
She live life to the fullest and show us how to
Acc-CENTUATE the positive and ELIM-inate the NEGATIVE!  And nothing in between!
Speaking of living life to the fullest, Nana is not afraid to have a G&T in the summer or a scotch in the winter.
Perhaps a cold beer or two, or three.  What's that you say?
Mardon me padam
I'm not under the affluence alcohol like most thinkle peep I am
I've just had tee martoonies
And the drunker I stand here the longer I get
If you think I'm drunk look at me

Now, after this fun tribute to Nana, we hope you are all IN THE MOOD - to PARTY!
"In the mood" Glen Miller Orchestra

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Taylor Thursday! My little sweetie is so happy and funny right when she wakes up. Makes it even harder to go to work!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Taylor goes to the GAF

You may know that the German American Festival is my jam. I used to plot out for weeks my posse and transportation to get to the GAF, and I would often times go all three days. I would skip parties, weddings, showers, work, whatever... It's the GAF people!  For years I poured beer at this great festival and have gotten to know many of the festival chairmen and workers. This year I didn't pour, however I did commit for next year ...YESSSSSSS!!!

Taking a stroller to the GAF was quite a different turn for me today but it was just as fun.  Instead of getting annihilated with boots and shots of J├Ąger, we searched for my favorite Weiss beer, found a shady spot, had a knockwust, sauerkraut balls and some lanjagers. Heaven. Heaven on earth. 

We wandered through the big tent and watched the lederhosen and dirndl clad folks dance on the glockenspiel. Saw some friends. What a great day for our little TNT. Family day :)

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Friday, August 15, 2014

August 15 - TNT is 3 Months old today

My little sweetheart baby is 3 months old today!  THREE MONTHS OLD!

Here's the scoop:

She's adorable.  All day, all night.  Happy, crying, it's all adorable. 

On going back to work
I went back on August 4th and the first few days were not that bad.  Everyone at work was so nice and welcoming, happy to see me.  I think I was in shock.  Also, my mom was at home with Taylor so I wasn't worried about what was happening at home.  Plus I knew if I was a few minutes late getting home it was not a big deal. 

Week two was a different story.  We have a great situation and send TNT to a sitter in our neighborhood.   Taylor gets to "socialize" with a few other kids and gets a lot of love from an experienced mom in a really nice home.  I know the families but they are not my family.  I feel comfortable.  Plus, I get pictures and updates throughout the day which made me feel good that Taylor is being loved and well cared for (even if it's not from me).....oh no, that is making me sad even to type.  Sigh.....ok....  Here are a few pics from the sitter.
I love this one - She's right at home with her friends. Look at her gripping her dress.  She loves to hold on to anything she can get her little hands on!

The text to me said "helping make lunch."  I replied - must take after her chef daddy.  :)

This also melted my heart.  Look at my little sweetheart being so serious and "reading."

How is she sleeping?
Common question - for the most part, TNT can sleep from 10pm-6am.  She can.  That does not mean she will all the time.   If she sleeps that stretch, we are good to go.  If not, she will wake up at 3 or 4 am and just solidly refuses to go back to sleep.  So, when we hear her at 3am, we know we are up. 
She loves the sleep sack.  I love the sleep sack - she wriggles out of blankets and swaddles.  Perfect.

How is she eating?
This little beast loves to eat.  She is hungry every three hours on the nose and sometimes a little before.  Perhaps that is because of all the spit up.  You guys, there is so much.  It's constant.  This little baby lives in a bib or else she would be soaking wet all the time.  The back of her hair is crusty most of the time (I wash and brush her hair often, but it's still crusty from the dried spit up).  Poor little lamb.  The doc says that spitting up and acid reflux are the same thing.   I have been advised to try Mylicon drops and then switch her to a soy based formula.  The doc was great.  His question, "Do you really want to medicate a baby?"  I don't yet, so we will try other things.  I just don't want her to be uncomfortable.

This spit up went over my shoulder and hit the floor.  Daily activity.  We will need stanley steamer soon - our whole house smells like spit up.
What else?  Well I could go on and on but as you know, my time is short.  Here are a few more pics of the Peepster that I took this week.  Love her so much!  Thanks for reading :)

3 month PJs - getting a little small!!!

TNT loves windows, lights and fans.  She laughs and smiles when I have her on this changing table as she looks outside.

This is the bouncy seat that she slept in for her first two weeks.  She's almost too big for it now.  It's happening before our eyes!
I love to snuggle up with her and read a book.  Here we are reading baby animals in Spanish (yes, that's Christian Bale as Batman in the background).   Look at the eyelashes :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Don't judge me....

If I hear one more person tell me that I shouldn't be drinking diet soda.....
"It's bad for you."
"It's worse for you than regular soda."
"It makes you hungry."
"It gives you cancer."


Everyone is fighting their own battles.  I believe that.  Also, I was not aware that everyone was so perfect and should be giving unsolicited advice.

To those that feel the need to tell me not to drink diet Coke.  I GET IT.  It's not good for you.  But guess what? 


Yes, it's a medical fact that I need it right now.  Medically I cannot survive without my carbonated fantastical beverage.  I had given it up entirely while pregnant and all caffeine for that matter.  I ate healthy and caffeine free.  

But now.

Now, people, it's survival mode.  I am on a strict diet again and eat almost no sugar, a healthy balanced diet, have maybe one boozy drink per week, and am working out like a freak.  So - if I indulge in a f&*$ing DIET COKE twice a week - SUE ME!  For now, it's helping me not freak out and eat Taco Bell 5 times a week.  Diet Coke.  Psssshhhht!

And wait....did you hear me?  I don't really drink alcohol.  That's cause for a prize.

Hi, I'm Iris.
Hi Iris.
I've not had a diet COke for one day now.
Clap, clap, clap......

Friday, August 8, 2014

Does inserting your foot into your mouth burn calories?

I have a new attitude.  Trying new things.  Making it happen. I'm a doer.  BOOM.
So today, I decided to work out on my lunch hour.  Not take a stroll after lunch, but workout.  I was inspired by some clients that said they pump up the jam everyday in their conference room.  What?  Every day?  And then go back to work?  Stinky?  Sweaty?   They just said they use dry shampoo, baby wipes, and powder.  Well, I never!

Armed with a mini DVD player and the original P90 Tony Horton special, I went to a meeting room that was not booked today.  I changed into my extra-expensive target workout gear quickly and got down to business.  Halfway through I thought, holy crap....I am doing this!  Making a change!  I can do this!  I don't even care if someone comes in and sees my body parts jiggling.  I am in BEAST MODE!

All of a sudden a co-worker comes in (and witnesses aforementioned beast mode), and asks if I mind if a nursing mother comes in to feed her baby.  Of course I don't mind, I say!  If she doesn't mind that I'm in here, I say.

Well nursing mom comes in and I say a breathy hello.  I mention in between jab-cross-hook-uppercut that I'm a new mom too and it's my first week back to work.  Keep in mind I'm sporting spandex.  Not good.

She smiles and sits down.  Like a normal person.  I continue.  Like a weirdo.  "Glad we could find a space for you.  Hope you don't mind me."  This is the worst...."I won't look."


Now, this lady is probably writing a story about me somewhere saying something creepy to her.  I mean, I'm a mom for God's sake!  Pull it together!

Gah!!!  I won't look.  Ugh!  Shoot me. 

Shirtless Dave

In efforts to conserve water, the mayor has asked that we don't water our lawns. Check. I never do anyway. I always thought it was a waste of water. Plus I'm so lazy about it.

Meet my neighbor.

Shirtless Dave.   That's what I call him.  Let me tell you about Dave.  Now, I'm not making fun of him, but you need the full picture...

Dave never wears a shirt, hence his moniker.  He wears pants, mostly the sweatpant type, sometimes jeans, and sometimes he wears pants and an open jacket in the fall, but no shirt.  Even in that insane winter we had, he was out with a COAT AND NO SHIRT.  He loves going shirtless.   Dave has big coke bottle glasses, is in his late 60s and is extremely tan.  No shirt gets you savage I suppose.

Dave is friendly enough, in fact  he was  the first neighbor I met when I moved into our new house about a year ago.  I walked over to meet him and we spoke briefly.  In parting, I excused myself by mentioning  that it was my birthday and we had dinner plans.  You know, friendly neighbor chit-chat.  He said, "Oh, ok.  How old are you?  45?  47?"  To me, the fact that he guessed 10 years older was amazing and then followed it up with a specific 47.   Also the fact that he skipped the pleasantry of wishing me a happy birthday and cut straight to the insult of thinking I was born in 1968 instead of 1978. 

I see Dave every day when walking Taylor in the stroller.  I throw a hand up and wave.  My return wave is about 15-20%.  In the car the return wave is 0%.  Yes.  Never returned the wave in the car.  I am thinking poor Dave cannot see so well (glasses). 

Anyway, I have been worried about Dave because besides insulting women on their age, not waving back to neighbors, and going shirtless, his most beloved thing is watering his lawn and sidewalk.

Dave spends hours watering his lawn.  He even brings out a chair to do so.  Garden hose is his weapon of choice, no sprinkler for this guy.   He just hangs out in the lawn chair, watering the lawn with the hose, not waving, just concentrating on watering his lawn.  No shirt.  Watering.  Watering.  Watering.

I haven't seen Dave all week.  I am worried about him.  Maybe he's inside watering plants.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Last night after our walk, little Miss TNT was cracking me up. Her facial expressions are already so, well, expressive. The bottom photo captured it perfectly! She likes to open her eyes really big when we go into the house after being outside. Have a great Thursday!

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

It's not you, it's me....

Hey Brittany, thanks for the writing prompts!

I love this, it's like high school essay all over again, which I must say, I excelled at, because multiple choice was NOT for me.  I could always argue one way or another.  True or false?  Psssscchhhht??!!!  I had so many questions.  I need more information to accurately answer this!!!

Here's #26 for you. Why are you saying goodbye to the scale?

Well, there are so many reasons.  Glad you asked.

My first memory of being embarrassed of my weight in actual, tangible numbers was when I got hit by a car while riding my bike.  I was in 6th grade.  I had been babysitting and I rode my bad ass huffy to the store to get slime for the girls I was watching.  I was an excellent babysitter.  Not such an excellent bike rider.  A minivan smoked me and crushed my bike but I was miraculously fine.  No broken bones, I don't even remember being bruised.  What I do remember was this...

The ambulance arrived and they put me on a stretcher.  The paramedics told me I was lucky to be so "sturdy" because if I had been smaller I would have broken bones.  Then, I remember him lifting my stretcher up and estimating my weight.  "Over 100," he said.  OUT LOUD so everyone heard.  I was horrified.  HORRIFIED.   And sad.  Now everyone knew my sad little 6th grade weight.  I knew other girls in my class were no where near that and my sisters weren't either.  I remember not wanting to cry because tough girls don't cry.  So I didn't.  I probably just cussed at someone.

I never wanted to get on that awful scale and see the 100s.  Even in grade school. 

I avoided it.

I have battled my weight all my life.

Over the years I have had a healthier relationship with my weight and how I feel about myself.  There are good days and bad days.  I have ranged from happy with my weight (well almost) to horribly depressed.  But the number.  Seeing that number.  WHY DOES THAT NUMBER HURT SO MUCH?  It's just a number.  But the number categorizes you somehow.  Puts you in some kind of a section in your mind. 

See, I'm 5 foot tall.  So I'm "supposed" to weigh a certain number right?  For me, for my body type, I cannot get to that number.  My doctor even told me that. 

After I had my baby (12 weeks ago) I was a number that I couldn't even handle.  My entire pregnancy I never ONCE looked at the scale at the doctor's office because I couldn't deal with it.  I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.  Eating right, exercising.  Weight should be on track, right?

But  now, I'm working my ass off.  I mean really working.  But somehow, my ass is not coming off.  Hey ASS - you are supposed to be coming off!  It's being stubborn.  That scale is not moving.  So guess what?

I am stepping off.  I don't have a healthy relationship with that scale.  I never have.  I understand it is a tool but when it is something that becomes a shackle and not a  helpful vehicle, you have to get rid of it.  I have picked up other tools - food scale, measuring cups, measuring tapes. 

GOOD BYE SCALE!  I will not miss you.  I might see you again but not for a while.  It's not you, it's me.  Well, maybe it's you...

Monday, August 4, 2014

An important job

I did it!  Whew!  I didn't die. I didn't combust. I didn't cry all day. I didn't explode. Yes. I made it. 

I went back to work today. 

I have heard such horror stories, "you'll cry all day!"  "It's the hardest day of your life!"  

It was hard. I didn't cry.  I also didn't eat a tub of ice cream. High five self!  

But it was hard. 

All week I have been pumping myself up for success. Glass half full, right?   I can do this!!  I can leave my baby sweetheart to go to work.  However, I got sick with my vertigo on Wednesday and I was down for the count all weekend. In the house. Depressing.  Then my attitude changed. I felt overwhelmed, it was all too much. It was all in front of me, just a massive pile of "I can't do it."  Plus WATER CRISIS was not helping the situation.  That scared the crap out of me. 

It's also not helping that I still look sorta pregnant. Not cute round belly pregnant but rather butt in the front and butt in the back pregnant.  Like spare tire pregnant. Like need to do sit-ups pregnant. The kicker is that I HAVE BEEN!  Muther trucker I have been. 2 solid months of serious diet and Jillian Michaels shred and I don't have a perfect beach body?  Horseshit. 

But guess what?

I still did it. 

Thank you to everyone that called, texted, emailed, sent flowers, to my amazing mom who watched the peepster while I launched back into adult land, and to my DT who has always believed in me. I couldn't have done it without your help. 

Now leave me be, I have an important job to do:

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Water contamination and baby me

Toledo made national news today with our toxic water. 


I hope everyone is ok and has enough water. I also hope no one got punched in the face at wal-mart trying to get water for their family. 

To lighten the mood, I found some old pics of me as a baby today so here they are:

Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Birth Story

I have been writing this in increments over the last 11 weeks.  It might not make a lot of sense or be in the most chronological order, but I just need to get I written and I am already forgetting some of the details...which I don't want to forget.  Please forgive typos.

Taylor's arrival

I had a scheduled C-section on a Thursday morning (for brevity sake, let's skip a lot of that).  The night before we went to the Clauddaugh Irish pub for dinner.  The site of our first date.  Where it all began.  We had a great dinner and drinks (just kidding!), but we did have a nice dinner and it almost felt like the night before vacation.  We had so much in front of us.

People kept telling me I wouldn't be able to sleep that night.  It felt like the night before Christmas and also like the night before Christmas, I was excited but also exhausted so I was able to sleep.  Thank the Lord.

We got up early and headed into the hospital.  It was still dark.

Checked into labor and delivery.  Someone complimented me on my hair.  Yes.

Getting prepped was so weird, so surreal.  I've had surgery before, but this kind of surgery would yield a baby, a human being, our baby!  The nurses always got excited when they found out we didnt' know the sex of our little baby.  IT was just an hour away!  ONLY AN HOUR!  So I was chattier than usual as they prepped me.  IVs, shaving (I made an inappropriate sex and the city Samantha joke then), random questions (think 5 year old, what's this, whats that??) and my supportive, silent husband just sat in the chair next to me.  God bless him.  I am sure he was nervous too, but good thing he internalizes and let's me do the talking.  Good lord.

So we waited.  And I talked.  And a little more waiting.  And I sweated.

Finally after what seemed like forever they took us into surgery prep.  And we waited.  And I asked more questions.  I stared at the clock. The doc came in.  The anesthetists came in.  I asked more questions.  Cracked some jokes.  Stared at the clock.  I realized I was starving.  And so thirsty.  It was 7:55am.  Surgery scheduled for 8am.  I wondered if my parents and in-laws were already there?  I knew they were.

Ok - nurse told me.  We are ready.  So I walked into the surgery room.  Actually walked.  I felt like I was dancing.  I was so nervous/excited.  Danny was right there with me.  The nurses were so upbeat and nice.  They loved that we didn't know what we were having.  One nurse actually spun Danny around 3 times (think pin the tail on the donkey) and had him pick a chair to sit down on.  Right or left.  He picked left (or was it right?)  Either was the boy chair.  BOY!  They all yelled.  This chair is 99% accurate they said. 

The surgery/birthing room was what I thought it would be.  But we didn't see one of these on my hospital tour so naturally I had some questions that I asked in rapid fire.  I was nervous - did I mention that?  Also sweating.  So sweaty.  I remember that.  I hopped up (as if someone huge and pregnant can hop) on to the table and the team got started. 

Nurses and doctors talk in acronyms.  I didn't understand most of what they were saying but my OB was there and was reassuring.  The anesthetists were incredible.  They started my spinal block and it was relatively painless.  Just a little poke.  Then the testing stared.  Can you feel this?  Can you feel this?  So odd.  Knowing what was going to happen.  Not taking out a spleen, a kidney, or a bone.  BUT A BABY!

I just kept making jokes.  "Hey guys, free tacos for life at the Sundown Cantina if you give me liposuction after this!" They laughed.  I wasn't kidding.  Why can't they do that?  "Hey guys, got any adamantum on that tray?"  The one male anesthetist got that one.  YES!  However, no lipo and no regeneration abilities.  :(

Someone said, she's ready and then I smelled burning.  It was the grossest smell.  I knew what was happening.  I had lasik eye surgery last year.  I was awake for it and the pressure and smells were scary and disgusting.  Multiply that times - well - a finity.  The PUSHING, PULLING, TUGGING was so, I don't know .  I don't really have a word for it.  It was gross.  Uncomfortable, but none of it mattered, because a baby was on the other end of it.  I was just so nervous and I only cared that she was ok.  Well I still didnt' know she was a she.  I also heard them counting on each side of me.  1, 1.  2, 2.  3, 3.  Danny said later he saw the floor and it was full of bloody rags.  They were counting the rags to make sure they didn't leave one inside.  The counting was almost calming.  I just did my breathing and meditation along with it.

They just kept asking me if I felt ok.  I said I did.  But I felt so weird. Like my organs were up in my throat.  But I guess they were on the table next to me.  Surgery started at 8am, at 8:16am, we heard the sweetest noise in the world......

A baby cry.  Not just any cry, our baby.  "IT'S A GIRL!!!!  A GIRL!!!!"  They yelled, and cheered and clapped.  She was crying, a loud lusty cry so I knew she was ok.  The sound of her cry was incredible.  One moment inside and the next, into the world.  LET ME SEE HER!!!!!

They brought her to me and I was just so relived.  So relived.  She's here!  She's ok!  I gave her a kiss and said a thank you to God and was happy.  So happy.   She's beautiful.  She's here!  Thank God.  Thank you!

The team needed to clean her off so Danny went with her.   All of a sudden I felt sick.  So sick like I was going to vomit and they could tell because I probably looked bad and there were no more jokes.  But no actual throwing up.  Just heaving.  With my insides on the outside.  So gross.  This would be another good place for that word that I cannot think of. 

The stitching up took longer than the "birth."  I was distracted though because I could hear my sweetheart baby crying in the next room.  Danny kept coming over to check on me and tell me how she was doing.  We did it!  She's here.  Wow. 

The next thing I knew I was being transferred to a transport bed and wheeled off to the recovery room.  In my arms, was my perfect, beautiful baby.  Ready to meet the world.  And her anxious grandparents. 

I have always believed in God, but now, here in my arms, is proof of God's love. Her name is Taylor Noelle Tankoos, born on May 15, 2014 at 8:16am.  Thank you.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Tornado shopping at Macy's

Tornado shopping is an art. Tornado shopping is when your mom watches your infant while you frantically try to buy clothes that semi-fit you so you can return to work after maternity leave looking the best you possibly can. Yes, this is an art. And exercise. Well, I'm sweaty so I know it's exercise. 

Macys. Shoe department. So many things were odd today. First, I found about eight pairs of shoes that fit. That never happens so I had to play shoe survivor and eliminate the weakest links. Next, a gift card I had was not cooperating so the manager had to get a manager and that took a while.  So I screwed around the store. 

I saw a woman coming up behind me on my rear view vision (is that something you can have ?) and it seemed like she was going to knock into me, so I stepped to the side. She didn't change her course and knocked into a shoe display. Yes. Knocked into the display on the other side of me. Gave me a nasty look and said...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to crowd you."

Please note she was bitchy and sarcastic. 

What?   Didn't know Macys had a tequila section. She was drunk. At 4:30p. 

I weeded through the shoe wreckage back to check on my gift card progress and waited patiently. I noticed another woman maybe in her 70s pointing at me, motioning at me. In looked behind me. She kept at it. 


"Yeah, can you get me these in a size 6?"  "Uh, I'm sorry, I don't work here."  "Oh, well can you get me someone who does then!!"


Manager of the manager was still on the phone and overheard the entire exchange. He was a very well groomed gentleman in his 20s.  He sort of smiled at me and I commented that you think I'd be dressed nicer if I were an associate ( running shorts and bandana clad).  He just rolled his eyes and said...

"You'd be surprised."

Not today, my friend. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Dressing room

This is how babies try on clothes. Her little feet sticking out at the bottom kill me!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Tales from the crib

Look at this baby. 2 months old and she's already getting herself sideways and completely unswaddled.  Peepster!